Wendy Corduroy's Utterly-Insane and Exhausting Love Life
by ddp456
Summary: It's Fallers' Day in Gravity Falls, and everyone is excited for it, except for one gloomy ginger. To make matters worse, Wendy's old ex-boyfriends keep popping up and trying to kidnap her. What is going on? But wait! Dipper's involved, too? Can Wendy find her partner-in-crime and make it through to the end of the day? Special thanks to MrTengoku for the cover art
1. Chapter 1

_For Bryan:_

 _Thank you for showing this world how to look past our "precious little lives," take on both "the world and the universe", deal with our own" infinite sadness," while "getting it together", only to deliver our "finest hour" when it really counts._

 _And most of all, thanks for teaching an old heartbroken fool how to believe again. (Sorry GF fans – this was years before the show aired) I can only hope this small tribute can, at least, slightly live up to your masterpiece._

* * *

Special thanks to SuperGroverAway, whom contributed several ideas towards these stories, as well as allowing me to borrow from their own excellent GF mythologies.

* * *

*BRING – RING – RING – RING!*

The halls of Gravity Falls High immediately flood as several synchronized bells ring, signaling the end of the current period. Six months have passed since the horrors of Weirdmaggedon were unleashed on the small community – the experience being nothing more now than a distant nightmare.

Numerous students gossip and plan out their day, for it marks an unique and somewhat rare occurrence. Once every four years, on the eve of February 29th, a rainbow coalition of meteors race out and illuminates the night skies of Gravity Falls. Dubbed "Fallers' Day" by the town's founders, the celebration serves as an expansion event to Valentine's Day, where couples that watch the lights together are said to be blessed – their bonds strengthen by the very cosmos themselves.

In truth, it is also rumored that such traditions were created due to the founders' forgetfulness of the former holiday, in an effort to appease their often-jilted companions.

As time moved on, Fallers' Day seemed to overtake Valentine's in popularity throughout Gravity Falls, just as Summerween had over Halloween.

The current spirit and vibe echoing through the modest High School was representative of such. An abundance of posters and literature were plastered throughout the halls, telling of countless viewing parties and get-togethers, where loved ones could witness the spectacle unfold. Mock meteorites ranging in every possible color were hung from the ceiling, rotating freely as the resident teenagers walked to and from their classes.

Far and between, one couldn't help but to find plentiful couples, all decorated in multi-colored outfits, presenting one another with differently-hued rose arrangements or brightly-ornamental candied treats, each asking variations of the same corny, yet traditional line:

 _"Do you want to come "fall" with me?"_

 _"Let's "fall" together – just me and you…"_

 _"Babe, it's "falling" time. What do you say?"_

It seemed that everyone was enamored by the festivities; their hopes, dreams, and wishes brought to an absolute high by the ever-so-positive atmosphere of love and uniting…

…save for one particularly gloomy redhead.

Wendy Corduroy sulked out of her current class without a sense of enthusiasm. She looked into the distance, into the peaceful and budding groups plotting their nighttime activities, and let out a dejected sigh – _how she loathed this day_.

Wendy walked past her friends and classmates, all were too busy with their own lives to pay her any heed. It was this that made Fallers' Day the bane of her existence – not some misguided sense of petty jealousy, but the unshakable sense of being all alone during a day that was meant for merriment and rejoicing.

Granted, the ginger was never on the top tier of popularity, save for a week or two after the "now-unspeakable" calamity, where she was heralded to be one of the town's saviors. Even her family began to see the slacker-cashier in a new light. But as the world moved on, things eventually returned back to the way they used to be, bringing Wendy back to the always-boring status quo.

However, Fallers' Day had always been a somewhat sore subject to the lumberjack princess. Going back as far as she could remember, Wendy would feel left out, as if the world seemed to have her on constant ignore. Friends and family were too busy with their own agendas to even give her the slightest acknowledgment, with this year being no different from any of the others.

Even before she had left home, her father went on to work without bidding his eldest goodbye. Her three youngest brothers could care less about their sibling's feelings, each focusing on meeting up with their respective crushes in time for the evening's meteor shower.

 _"Yep_ ," Wendy realized as her mood darkened, growing more downbeat with every step taken. _"The same old same old…"_

With her backpack thrown across her flannelled shoulder, Wendy turned the corner to see of her group conserving amongst themselves. Robbie and Tambry were nestled against a nearby locker, as they playfully giggled and flirted with each other. Across the hall, the boys, Nate, Lee, and even Thompson chatted it up with a flock of girls in hopes of not spending another Fallers' Day without dates.

And as was expected, not one of Wendy's tight-knit posse batted an eye as the downtrodden girl passed by. She paused for a second, and let out another sigh.

 _"Ugh! What is it with these guys? Is it really so hard to say "hi," or "how you doing," or some garbage like that? I know this Fallers' Day stuff means a lot to them, but it's my day, too…"_

Tired of seeing all of the happy faces seemingly mocking her, Wendy decided to take a shortcut from the crowd into the school's gymnasium. She pushed the door open with her shoulder and took refuge on an extended bleacher seat. The empty arena offered the perfect solitude that she desperately craved. Fortunately, there was not a single reminder of the blasted holiday to be seen.

Wendy sunk back into her seat and looked back on her inner turmoil. As much as her "Fallers' Day Curse" fueled her depression, she wondered if it was a lack of excitement that added to her misery. The high-school recalled how her life was forever changed with her introduction to her employer's grand niece and nephew.

"Oh, yeah…" Wendy stared at the ceiling-lights as she smiled for the first time that day, "Those two dorks definitely changed everything…"

From their arrival in Gravity Falls, the Pines twins instantly shattered Wendy's oh-so-boring reality, throwing the unsuspecting lumberjane into a series of adventures that unveiled the many secrets of her sleepy mountain town, ranging from everything between ghosts, monsters, secret societies, and ending with a knock-out battle for the fate of the world.

"Is that's what's buggin' me?" Wendy pondered as she put her booted feet up on the closest step. "This place has become a total bummer since then. Heck, even Christmas with Mama Pines on the rampage was more thrilling than this. Maybe a little action can get me out of this funk…"

Life as a whole had unquestionably been brought to a standstill with the end of summer. Wendy's regular cashiering shifts at the Mystery Shack had been reduced to weekends only with the start of school. And even then, she was forced to multi-task between her studies and clerking duties instead of being paid to loaf off and take the usual catnap. Things were complicated further as the owners of the simple tourist trap, the Stan twins, were still off on their worldwide vacation, leaving leadership in the capacable hands of Soos and his now-live-in-girlfriend, Melody; both of which were wise to Wendy's often mischievous cravings.

But as her mind returned to the moment at hand, Wendy plucked the white and blue pine tree cap from on top of her luscious crown of auburn hair and held it in her hands. While she adored the wonderful wackiness and creativity that was Mabel Pines, her bond with the other Pines twin was poles apart.

She and Dipper had grown remarkably close throughout the course of the summer. Despite his age, the little brainiac had a sense of maturity beyond his years – something that many of her older friends lacked. At the same time, the boy retained a natural innocence – which Wendy used to her advantage when convincing him to join in her random escapades.

Within the last year, the easily-nerve-wrecked geek had charmed his way into her guarded heart, and became one of her best friends. The occasional doubt, argument, or heartbreak had eventually blossomed into a deep and near-invincible trust that served the duo well as they fought side by side for the sake of their loved ones at summer's end.

"Still," Wendy rotated the hat, viewing it from every which way, "I do feel kinda guilty for not keeping in closer touch…" Christmas with the Pines family in California had come and gone, and since then, she had spoken with or texted Dipper a handful of times. Wendy recalled how the pint-sized explorer attempted to instruct her how to set up a video-chat system between them, but her interest quickly faded as Dipper inadvertently went into full "techno-babble-mode."

Deep down, Wendy knew the reason why she chose to remain at a distance: the more that she became accustomed to her new extended family, the harder it was to say good-bye each passing time. While she hated to admit it, Wendy understood that nothing good lasted forever. Heaven only knew if the next farewell would be the last.

 _"It's not like it hasn't happened to me before,_ " Wendy reflected back on her own personal tragedies. _"But my hang-ups aside, the guys do deserve better; especially Dip…"_

She glanced around the room, making sure that no one was near the gymnasium doors. The last thing the girl needed was a teacher catching her in the act. Wendy pulled her flip phone out of her blue jean pocket.

"Maybe hearing a friendly voice will cheer me up…" She opened the cell and went to dial out, already imagining the excited, high-pitched tone of her little admirer. "I'll bet he'll be so – "

Wendy stopped as a new alert flashed across her phone's screen:

"1 UNREAD MESSAGE: FROM DIPPER"

"Huh…" The adolescent found herself surprised, "Speak of the devil…" She clicked the center button to retrieve the note.

"What in the – "

A new message displayed on the tiny LCD panel:

"WENDY, PLEASE CALL ME BACK ASAP! SOMETHING STRANGE IS GOING ON…"

Her brow raised in confusion as Wendy re-read the note over and over, "Huh? I wonder what's up?" As she went to hit the re-dial button, a familiar voice echoed through the vacant gymnasium.

"Wendy? Wendy Corduroy? Is this where you've been hiding out?"

She turned around to see who was calling her, only to spin back with a huff and a groan. As embarrassment came forth, Wendy held a hand over her reddening face as the figure took a seat next to her.

"I just knew it was you!" The preppy-dressed boy let out a goofy laugh as he playfully slapped her back, "Then again, how many other redheaded lumberjack-themed gingers are there at this school?"

Without looking up in the slightest, Wendy moved her hand from her mouth to let out a half-mumbled greeting, "Hello, Eli…"

Delighted, he clapped his hands together in glee, "I just can't believe it! How long has it been?"

"Too long…" she grumbled under her breath, resulting in another hearty shove from her well-forgotten acquaintance.

"Oh, you kidder, you!" The teenager paused for a moment to adjust his well-coifed strawberry-blonde hair. He tossed his lavish neckerchief over his shoulder, making sure to press out the wrinkles in his fancy white sweater.

Growing more annoyed by the moment, Wendy wrapped her arms around her legs and curled into a tiny ball as her tormentor rattled onwards about his comings and goings:

"…yeah, while the fam moved back to town a few months ago. Imagine my surprise when folks said that you were still hanging these parts. Totally cray-cray, am I right?"

"Yep, it's cray-cray, all right…" Wendy replied, not acknowledging the pest at her side. With this random encounter, her day had gone from bad to _worse_.

"Still, everything seems so different from when you and I were… _you know_ …"

"Tell me about it, buddy…" The clueless chatterbox had literally hit the nail on top of the head.

Eli Hall was one of Wendy's many beaus during her pre-teen years. The two had met in middle school, during a brief period where the freakishly tall tween found herself attracted to the brainy type. As an added bonus, his parents were well endowed, meaning that she was able to experience several aspects of life that couldn't have come from a family where nearly all of their possessions had been made by hand.

However, such came a terrible price; namely dealing with Eli himself. Wendy had mistaken his intellect for a bad case of "know-it-all-ism." The two couldn't have as much as a simple disagreement between them without having to compete with Eli's near-infinite drive to prove himself right. Even worse, his OCD-like tendencies acted up at the random times, preventing the duo from rough-housing or partaking in more rugged activities, much to Wendy's dismay.

Even at a young age, the gangly redhead knew how to weigh the "pros" versus the "cons," and for this, decided to cut her current boyfriend loose. Within the course of two weeks, the idea of the "dreamy brainiac" melted away, leaving Wendy with a whiny neat freak that looked like a mixture between a 1970s cartoon mystery solver and that dorky kid on the side of a burger stand's kid's meal.

Wendy shuddered as she gazed down at her phone, wondering if Dipper would have ended up down the same path if not for she and Mabel occasionally (and sometimes, fortuitously) taking him down a healthy peg or two. She would hate to see how too much ego and pride would ruin him, the same way it had Eli.

She clutched the phone tighter, thinking about how even in his absence, Dipper would be able to come to her rescue and help her out of another jam. As Eli went on with his one-sided conversation, Wendy stood up and held up her cell as the perfect excuse:

"Sorry, Eli," she forced a half-hearted apology. "But I really have to take this call. Nice catching up with ya. See you around…"

His face fell as Wendy started to walk back down the staircase, "Oh, okay then…"

Knowing that she couldn't be seen, a huge grin spread across Wendy's freckled face, knowing that the endless boredom was drawing to a close. _"Finally!"_

"But before you go…"

Wendy froze in mid-step as she bit her lip in frustration, _"Crap!"_

Eli looked down at the ground, as for the first time in their conversation, he shown signs of losing his arrogant edge. "Listen, I have this group of friends – _you probably know them_ …" He scratched the side of his head, "Anyways, we're throwing this shindig later today; _kinda like a celebration of sorts_ , and I was wondering if you'd – "

Wendy twirled around and decided to face the music. She chalked the peculiar invitation as a case of " _being careful what you wish for._ " It would be better for everybody to end things end before any unwelcomed feelings could get wound up. "Look, Eli. I appreciate the offer, but considering how things ended between us, I think…that wouldn't be the best idea…"

"I…understand…" Eli simply stared back at her – a sense of disbelief and disappointment could be found in his eyes. But a split second later, he was back on his feet, hopping down the steps to meet Wendy back on her level, "One last thing…"

Eli reached behind his back, into his mounted backpack, returning a second later with a strange, blue-greenish plant. It looked like a spawn between a deranged rose and the withered tendril from a vineyard. Its brightly tinted petals at the top were aligned without any sensible rhyme or reason. The stem twisted and turned endlessly, tipping off with a messy tear at the very bottom.

The sight of the unique flower triggered Wendy's memories _. She had seen something like this before, but from where?_

The apologetic ex-boyfriend placed the oddity in Wendy's hands, "Here, I grew this for you. Flora study is kinda my thing this year…"

"Eli, I don't – "

He stepped away and held up his hands in innocence, "I know, I know! But let's say it's a sort of peace offering, huh?"

Wendy lowered her sights towards the bundle in her arms, finding herself mystified by what had just happened.

 _"Well, this thing has a face that only a mother could love, but still – at least someone remembered me today…"_

Putting forth a gracious front, Wendy raised her head, "So, what do you call this thing - ?" Her green eyes widened in surprise as she noticed a startling change in Eli's expression. There was a sinister glint in his stare, where it had been repentant moments before. The yuppie's frown was now an intimidating smirk.

Strangest of all, Wendy had just noticed that Eli was donning a pair of worn-out yellow and orange work gloves, similar in nature to the ones she used at the Shack when Mr. Pines forced her to do actual chores.

 _"But why would he – "_

Eli answered her question with a snoodish tone in his voice, "I call it – _insurance_!"

As if by perfect timing, the greenery in Wendy's hands became to twitch and move of its own accord. She exclaimed out loud in horror, "What?! What in the hell's going on?!"

Eli retained his cool as he studied his ex's struggles from a safe distance. "Fascinating…" he tapped an index finger against his cheek as he crossed his arms, "I knew the heat from human contact would activate it, but I never expected _this_. Truly fascinating, indeed…"

Wendy attempted to let go of the apparently-possessed gift, discovering that it was too late. The living vine squirmed about, wrapping around both of her wrists and pinning them together. Her cell phone slipped from her fingertips and crashed on the hardwood flooring.

"Hey!" The girl scrunched her face as she tried to break free. With lightning speed, the creeper traveled up Wendy's arms and across her shoulder blades, squeezing down on her skinny body like a boa constrictor. Before she knew it, her limbs were held tightly in place against her chest.

"Agh! Let – Let me outta of this thing, man!"

He sneered at her cries, "You should consider yourself lucky. I found this species by some depilated shed out in the woods. A true beau, I tell you! You don't know how many times I had to gene-splice this little baby to get it to stop growing razor sharp teeth?"

" _I knew it!"_ Wendy thought _. "That's what it reminded me of! It's just like that weird monster-weed Dipper found in the forest last year!"_

As the strain bought Wendy down to her knees, her captor began to pace around as he openly gloated, "My, I have to say, Wendy, how disappointed I am with the way things turned out. _But you should be happy – at long last, you were finally able to prove me wrong…_ "

Wendy stared up at Eli in bewilderment, "What are you babbling about?!"

"It's like I told you before, lady…" He walked about with his hands folded behind his back, "There's going to be a killer party tonight _– and you're the guest of honor!"_

"I'm the – what?!"

"It's true…" Eli knelt down to meet Wendy face-to-face. "I told the others that I would be able to get you to come to our little get-together on "pure charm alone…""

Wendy rolled her eyes and let out another groan.

"…but they insisted that I'd bring something to ensure your cooperation. And you know how much I hate being wrong…"

The startled teen couldn't believe what was unfolding before her eyes. What had happened to the dorky little weakling that used to follow her around like a lovesick puppy? Now, the same scrawny egghead had turned totally clichéd-super-villain in a snap.

Eli reached down and tugged on her now-secure bindings, bringing Wendy back onto her feet. "Now, let's get going. They'll be expecting us soon…"

To his astonishment, the terror from Wendy's face had vanished. Instead, she now sported a scheming smile.

"Oh, Eli…" Wendy said as she regained her balance, "There's just one tiny, little thing that you overlooked…"

"Really? And what's that – OOF!"

Wendy threw her knee deep into Eli's gut, making him wince over in agony. He gagged aloud while struggling to catch his breath.

 _"Never – ever count a Corduroy out!"_

With her subjugator stunned, the resourceful heroine bolted towards the side door leading outside. Her usually sleet-footedness was hindered by the awkward positioning of her bound arms. Wendy looked behind her as she threw her shoulder against the exit.

"HA! Bet you didn't see that comin', did ya, smart-ass?!"

*CLUNG!*

"OWWW!"

The right side of Wendy's body throbbed as the exit refused to budge. She glanced down to see that the door handle had been chained shut with a padlock. With her hands tied and her tools tucked away in her knapsack, there was no way to pry it open.

"Actually, _genius_ ; I did…"

Wendy spun about on her heels to find that Eli was already heading in her direction. "Now, why don't you be a good girl and give up – " He dove face first at Wendy, whom promptly hurdled over the boy, delighting in watching him crash into the steel-reinforced door.

"Dude, this is getting sad…" Wendy sprinted up the bleachers, " _I'm literally beating you with both arms tied behind my back!"_

"But they're not – "

"You know what I mean!"

All of a sudden, Wendy felt a hand roughly seize her left ankle. It pulled her down, dragging her bump by bump back across the staircase.

"What's the matter, Wendy?" Eli asked as he continued to hold her boot in a death grip, "No witty comeback to be had?"

"That was always the problem with you, Eli…" Wendy cocked her head slightly to adjust her aim, "You were always so damn clingy!" She pulled her foot back and kicked him back down the steps. As Eli toppled downwards, the acrobatic warrior rolled off the bleachers and landed graciously on one knee in the enclosure between the foldable structure and the brick wall.

A shadow eclipsed Wendy as she stood back up. Eli was blocking the only clear passage.

"Gotcha now!"

Left without any other choice, the freckled-faced fighter started to back into the understructure of the bleachers. As Eli followed her into the gap, Wendy became distracted by the ever-growing menace, accidentally tripping over a lowly-placed horizontal beam.

She landed on her jeaned bottom as Eli made his way past the thin, steel rods. Wendy attempted to backpedal away from the danger until she was brought to a stop. When she fell, her right wader became wedged between one of the row locks stemming from a nearby stand.

 _"Are – Ugh! Are you friggin' kiddin' me?"_

Without the use of her hands, Wendy could do nothing but shake her leg back and forth in hopes of prying it free. However, the oversized boot refused to budge in the slightest, leaving the disadvantaged adolescent trapped between the crevice. The awkward pressure prevented her foot from simply sliding out of its shoe.

 _"Great! Just great! What else?!"_

*CLICK – CLICK!*

The ground beneath Wendy became to vibrate at an alarming rate. She looked towards her right to see that the wheels attached to the bottoms of the bleachers began to move on their own.

 _"Oh, You can't be serious?!"_

Wendy soon her attention equally divided. The iron bars of the staircase began to collapse towards her direction as Eli was nearly on top of her. As the panicked cashier used her free leg to push off against her confinement, her pursuer abruptly paused. He saw Wendy's pained expression as she continued to struggle towards freedom, only to glance back at the incoming bleachers.

"Wendy?" The rage and insanity was gone from his voice as his eyes softened. "What's happening? Where –? Let me help – "

After spouting a jumble of words, Eli threw his head back, grabbed at his temples, and screamed out loud. Wendy watched as he pulled back in a second later, the sudden madness in full force as he sneered at her. He reached out for her with both arms, "There's no way out of this…"

 _"What's with this guy,"_ she noted. " _He's like going all-split-personality on me…"_

Instead of giving up, Wendy shut her eyes firmly, gritted her teeth, and shoved against her trapped ankle with everything she had left.

 _"Come on! Please, come on!"_

*POP!*

At long last, Wendy was able to slide her orange and red socked foot out of the still-lodged lumberjack boot. She rolled into a backwards-somersault just in the nick of time, leaving the dashing Eli with nothing in his hands besides a dirty, worn-out shoe.

"Huh?!"

Back on her feet, Wendy hopped over the last few subsiding hurdles, making it safely out to the other side of the brick wall. She turned to face Eli, who was barely making his own past the almost-closed bleacher.

 _"Okay,"_ Wendy planned as she bent her knees and ducked down, _"You're only going to get one shot to do this, so make it count…"_

As soon as Eli made his way out of the bleachers' metallic maze, Wendy rushed towards him with an Amazonian roar. She threw her whole weight against the boy, sending him tumbling backwards as the staircase closed with a concluding *SNAP!*

The gymnasium grew quiet once more as the machinery died down. Eli went to lunge at Wendy as she backed towards the wall, stopping after an inch as he began to choke:

"ACK!"

With his left hand still clutching Wendy's vacant boot, he reached around his neck with his right and discovered the problem. "My dickie!" He heaved and jerked forward as his voice deepened, "My dickie's caught in the stairs!" No matter how much he squirmed, Eli couldn't remove the kerchief from around his collar.

Wendy leaned back against the wall and scoffed, "Dude, after everything you just did, you're lucky I don't hang you from it!"

With the danger diffused, the super-tall teenager tested her bonds again. Fortunately, the chase with Eli had taken its toll on the stubborn plant as Wendy could feel its death grip loosen. With one ultimate shrug of her shoulders, the vine cracked away from her arms, ending up in pieces around Wendy's feet.

"What in the hell's the matter with you, Eli?" Wendy approached her imprisoned ex without fear as she snatched her missing footwear out of his hand, "Gimme that!" dusted off the sole of her foot, and stepped back into her boot. "I knew you were all kinds of messed up, but that last bit with the bleachers?! _You could have killed us both!"_

Eli gave her a look of confusion, "What – What are you talking about? I didn't retract the staircase. I thought you did to try to escape!"

"Me?!" Wendy held a hand against her flannelled shirt, "Why would I even think of…"

As her mind spun, she found herself struck by a second case of déjà vu.

 _"Wait a sec – this happened before, but not to me…"_ _Her memories flashed back to last summer's end, when Dipper was forced to endure a similar peril as he attempted to rescue her from a ghostly fate_. As Wendy could have sworn to hear the sound of cackling laughter ringing in her eardrums, the familiar tone made every hair on the back of her neck stand upright. Her toes curled inside of their boots as she recalled every second of horrific torture.

Wendy searched the room before addressing Eli, "Please tell me that was you laughing?"

"What?! Now you're hearing things? There's no one else here but us! That was the whole point of this thing!"

 _"This doesn't make sense. He promised – Dipper won his little contest, so he can't come back…right?"_

Finally fed up of all the madness happening around her, Wendy took a step back and swiped away the world surrounding her, "Okay, I'm done! I'm so done!" She pointed directly at the still-trapped Eli, "I don't know what your deal is, and I don't wanna know! So go back to whatever land of odd-balls you came from and tell them their party's cancelled!"

With a wave, Wendy walked towards her knapsack, which had fallen from the bleachers when they withdrew into the wall. Eli thrashed about to see where his former girlfriend was headed.

"Hang on a sec," he called out. "Where are you going?"

She pulled out a thin, yet warm brown jacket from her backpack, "Anywhere but here!" _Her immediate thoughts wouldn't leave that of the demonic teacher, who played good cop/bad cop as she was held prisoner._ "I'm making a break for it before anything else happens…"

"But – But you can't just leave me here…"

"I can," Wendy corrected, zipping her coat up, "And I will…" She walked towards the gym's entrance as she let out one last victory crack, "Have fun getting "your dickie" outta this one…"

As the heavy doors closed behind her, Wendy could hear Eli shout to the top of his lungs:

 _"This isn't over, Wendy! The others are coming! And they will find you!"_

"Whatever, loser…"

* * *

Once outside, Wendy took a much-needed deep breath. The years spend in the Gravity Falls during its harsh winters had made her body appreciate such weather. As she started on the pathway home, she thought about what had just occurred.

" _It's so freaky_ …" she pondered as her boots crunched the frozen leaves on the ground, " _Eli just shows up after all these years and goes super-psycho on me. And at the same time, Dipper sends me that message…"_

Wendy stopped, "Dipper! I totally forgot about him!" She patted about herself, only to come up empty-handed. "I can't believe it!" She slapped her forehead. "I must have lost my stupid cell during that mess with Eli…"

She turned back to see that an overcast now shadowed the entire Gravity Falls High campus. The ominous sight sent another shiver down her spine.

 _"…but there's no way I'm going back there tonight! Especially with "you-know-who" probably ticked off at me for cutting class for the rest of the day…"_

Still, in spite of escaping all sources of danger, the threat Eli made lingered deep in Wendy's mind.

 _"Who were the others Eli was talking about? Was he making things up, or was something going on?"_ To Wendy, there were simply too many factors – too many coincidences to toss aside like nothing.

Arriving at the entrance to the Gravity Falls Woods, she paused for a second before taking an alternative route. Wendy figured that with everything going on, perhaps home wasn't the best place to head first. She knew that she needed to get someplace warm, had a phone so she could get a hold of Dipper, and remain out of sight for a bit.

"And I know the perfect place – _my home away from home_ …"


	2. Chapter 2

"A little bit higher. A little more…"

Soos looked down at his partner as he dangled from the ladder. "So, from here then?"

"That middle one. Try from there…"

The stout handyman tied the string around the wooden beam and hopped down the stepstool. He prided over the newly-hung four-pronged plastic meteors infinitely spinning around in circles. The colorful blur stood as a shining reminder to the man-child of all of the wonderful changes that had occurred in the last few months: the Stan twins had been reunited, resulting in seeing his mentor the happiest he had ever been. For this, Soos had been promoted to "Mr. Mystery-in-training," as the elders had left him in charge of the Mystery Shack tourist trap until further notice.

With a job well done, he threw a burly arm around his better half – _the favorite change in his life_.

"So, what'ya think? Is it just right?"

Melody squeezed her boyfriend back, and leaned in for a kiss on his fuzzy cheek. "I think _everything's perfect…"_

Since the end of summer, Melody had relocated mid-state in order have some much-needed gain on her long-distance relationship with the kind-hearted giant. With the Mystery Shack left in Soos's hands, the bright entrepreneur used her retail knowledge to help improve things for the humble establishment.

Instead of relying on the shoestring-methodology that Stan(ley) had been forced to survive on, the couple had managed to earn enough profit to live comfortably during the much-slower winter months. More so, Soos had ample time to practice his own "Mr. Mystery" shtick with a smaller group rather than against the more-demanding summertime crowd.

They even had extra funds to keep Wendy on as cashier during the weekends throughout the school year.

All and all, things had been driven to a contented crawl, without a sense of mystery or untold weirdness to threaten their wholesome peace.

Soos and Melody held each other snuggly as they stared at the twirling meteorites silently.

"I'm so glad that you're here with me…"

"Soos," Melody blushed, "You always say that…"

"But today's different…" He lowered his head as he confessed, "I mean, I've never really celebrated "Fallers' Day" before. _I never had anyone to celebrate with before_."

She nettled against his shoulder, "Well, me neither, silly…"

Soos turned Melody in surprise, "Really? Get outta town!"

"Honey, they don't celebrate "Fallers' Day" anywhere else but here …"

"Yeah…I forget about that sometimes…"

"Still," Melody wringed the dazed man, "That means we get to celebrate our first "Fallers' Day" together…"

"I never thought of it like that…" He turned back towards her, "And every one after this?"

She nodded as their faces met, "And _every single one_ after this one…"

Just as their lips were inches away from one another…

*RING!- RING!*

The Gift Stop's door opened and closed with a *SLAM!* The two adults swung around, half-embarrassed, as they recognized the visitor.

An out-of-breath Wendy Corduroy threw herself against the heavy door. As she panted, the ginger looked out the tiny window behind her to ensure she hadn't been followed, only to hastily yank the pull-down drape over it.

Soos and Melody watched in uncertainty as Wendy slumped down and let out a relieved sigh. She raised her sights at her employers and offered a simple wave.

"Hey…guys…How's it…hanging…?"

Worried, the co-managers moved closer their weary cashier. Judging by her fatigued appearance, they could tell that something wasn't right.

"Wendy?" Melody asked. "What are you doing here? You don't have a shift until tomorrow morning…"

"Yeah, Wendy-dude," Soos added. "You look like you ran all the way here from…wherever you were!"

"S-School…" Wendy answered as she wrapped her arms around her knees for warmth, "And I kinda did…" Her emerald eyes spotted the flashy decoration swaying from the ceiling, as well that her friends were in mid-embrace, leading her to put two and two together.

"Oh, jeez…" Her freckled face became even more flushed. "Sorry! I didn't mean - am I interrupting?"

The couple cleared their throats and stepped away from each other.

The more-honest Soos spoke up, "Well, actually…"

Melody gave her guy a quick nudge with her elbow to remind him of his manners. She lowered herself onto the counter to better address Wendy, "You're just fine. Is everything alright? Did something happen at school?"

Wendy made it back to her feet, taking one last glance out the Gift Shop's windows before meeting Melody at the desk.

"Kinda…" She took off her jacket and rested her flannel-covered arms against the chipped wood, "Get this: I just got outta class and headed to my next one. All of this "Fallers' Day" garbage was getting to me, so I decided to take a short-cut through the gym – "

"Wait?" Melody questioned, "You don't like "Fallers' Day?" She glimpsed at Soos for confirmation, "I thought of all people would, considering – "

Soos placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "It's a really long story…"

"And not really important right now…" Wendy jumped back in. "Anyways, there was this guy waiting for me; someone that I used to date a few years ago…"

"Ouch!" Both grown-ups replied with the same remark, before Melody offered her sympathies, "I can see why you're having such a downer-day…"

Wendy threw her arms out, "Believe me, sister, _it gets worse!_ I go to leave and he actually tries to attack me!"

"What?!"

"Somehow, the creep found – or made, I'm not sure – one of those killer plants Dipper dug up in the woods last summer…"

Soos excitedly snapped his fingers upon recognition, "Oh, you mean _Wendy-II_ , right?"

The handyman was utterly oblivious to the nasty stares given off by both women.

"Yeah, Soos," Wendy exhaled, " _That's the one_ … So, this dude sic's this monster on me, and next thing I know, he's talking all types of crazy, like how he wanted to kidnap me and take me to some party that was being thrown tonight…"

"Wow…" Soos admitted with a sense of guilt, "That's like "Saturday Night Movie-of-the-Week" messed up…"

"So then what happened?" Melody questioned, hanging on her friend's every word, "How did you escape?"

Wendy shrugged modestly, "I kicked his ass and broke his stupid flower-creature. It wasn't a big deal…"

The teenager pulled up a stool as her body began to finally calm, "But the thing that freaks me out is that he said that there were others waiting for me…"

"So weird…"

"And to top it off," Wendy placed her treasured pine-tree hat down on the counter, "I got this really vague text message from Dipper before all of this stuff happened…"

"Little dude?" Soos wondered with a smile, "What's he been up to lately?"

"I wouldn't know…" the high-schooler spun the cap on her fingertip as her thoughts went out for her admirer, "I didn't get a chance to answer – I lost my cell during the fight, and wouldn't dare go looking for it now!"

Wendy continued to explain, "So, that's why I'm here – I kinda need a place to lay low until everything blows over. I also have to get a hold of Dip to make sure everything's okay on his end…

Melody reached over and set her hand on Wendy's arm, making the downtrodden girl smile, "You are more than welcome to stay here as long as you need to."

"That's right," Soos said. "As long as we're here, you don't have a thing to worry about…"

*SLAM!*

The swinging door leading to the Pines's family room shot open, smacking hard against the vending machine. All three workers jumped as a young man dressed in retro Australian gear. His lowered black-leather hat covered his eyes in shadow. Slim, but strapping bare biceps poked out of a baby-blue, purposely-torn cut-off vest. Worn out dungaree pants were tucked over crocodile-skinned boots that clacked over the wooden floors.

He flashed a sinister grin as he flicked the necklace tied about his neck – a collection of random animal teeth bound together by string.

"You're right about so much, love, and yet, _wrong on so many other levels_ …"

Wendy leapt from her seat, "Wait…" She took a deep look at the stranger, "Stoney? _Stoney Davidson?_ "

"Who?" Melody remained on guard.

"He's…" Wendy moaned as she closed her eyes, wishing it was nothing more than a horrid dream, "He's my ex-boyfriend…"

 _"Another one?!"_

Stoney stepped forward and flicked his vest, "I knew that walking failure wouldn't be able to get the job done." He crossed his arms in front of him, "I tell you, Wendy-darling – you really know how to pick them, don't cha?"

"Eww!" Wendy cringed, "Don't call me that…" She motioned at him with her shoulder blade, "And really, dude? Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?"

"Oh, come on, now…" Stoney stretched his arms over his head, like he was warming up for a physical feat. "I'm in a whole other league than that sniveling worm. That's how I knew to find you at one of your old haunts. _You_ of all people should recognize that – _or have you already forgotten?_ "

"No…" Wendy's face fell, as she recalled their shared history, before becoming dead-serious, "I could _never_ forget that…"

Seeing the younger girl's reaction, Melody leapt to her defense. "Excuse me," she addressed the stranger while firmly placing her fists on her hips, "This is private property, and we are currently closed, so you're going to have to leave…"

Stoney jeered at the manager's demand, "Am I?"

"Yes, you are…" Melody turned towards Soos, who merely stared at the oddly-dressed outsider. She gave him a quick love tap to bring him back around.

"Oof!" The stout man rubbed his stomach. "Sorry about that, girls. I just found myself blown away by this guy's entrance. I mean, did he time that perfect, or what?"

"Thank you…" Stoney tipped his hat at his one-man audience.

"Soos!" Both Wendy and Melody chastised at the same time, making him flinch slightly.

"But they're right, fella. Only friends and family until we open in the morning…"

"Fair enough," the visitor shifted his shoulders, "It's not a big deal anyway. Wendy and I were just on our way out, weren't we? Can't be late for the party tonight…"

Wendy rose up from her seat, "You're bonkers! If you think I'm going anywhere with you – "

A devilish grin spread across his face, "Do you really want to go down this road in front of your pals here?" Stoney began to reach into his vest, "This can go down _"the easy way_ ," and you walk outta here with me, or go ahead and fight and kick and scream, and we do things " _the hard way_ – "

To Wendy's surprise, the young invader was halted as her extended family rushed from behind the counter to her rescue.

"Hold it right there!" Melody held out her hand to stop Stoney's approach. "You'll have to go through us first!"

"Yeah, weird-Aussie-dude," Soos joined aside his girlfriend. "The get-up and everything was cool at first, but now, you're getting kinda scary. "

His passage blocked, Stoney went to turn back the way he came, "All right, then…"

With the threat supposedly neutralize, they turned their heads, nodding to show Wendy their support. Upon seeing this split-second distraction, Stoney pulled his hand out from his jacket and lounged at them.

*CLICK – CLICK!*

"What - ?!"

Before they knew what had happened, Soos and Melody raised an arm, discovering that they had been handcuffed together by the wrist. They lugged and tugged, discovering that even the slightest movement affected the other's.

"Hey, what is this?"

"Take this off right now, kid!"

Their attacker remained silent, as he dashed towards them for a second time. Stoney took a hold of the chain binding them and yanked it downward. The duo stumbled clumsily, their heads painfully colliding with a noisy *BONK!*

Stunned, they slumped to the floor as Stoney stepped over his fallen obstacles. His smile grew as he moved closer to Wendy. She took heed of the menace, kicking her stool upwards with the toe of her boot and catching it in mid-air. With makeshift weapon equipped, the redhead stared down her latest nemesis.

Stoney stopped and readied himself, waiting with careful anticipation, for what was coming next.

"Your move…"

Wendy was all too familiar with this – how this showdown had come to be. _This is what he wanted; what he lived for. To Stoney, all of this was nothing more than a sadistic game – a mere test of his skill and cunning, to which she was the prey._

She waited on impulse, never daring as much as to blink during the tense confrontation. Wendy knew that going on the offense would be disastrous – the wannabe huntsman was a master of counter-attack as was demonstrated with Soos and Melody. As Stoney lifted a boot in her direction, she raised her chair higher. He chuckled under his breath, pausing for a moment before launching his attack.

In response, Wendy hurled the stool straight at Stoney, who deflected the projectile with his hands. Now that he was distracted, the agile warrior dove onto the counter and made a break towards the living room. The rugged boy made a grab towards Wendy's jeaned legs, only to miss her by inches. She jumped from the desk and bolted through the swaying door as Soos and Melody staggered back up.

"Oh…" Melody rubbed the side of her bruised head, "What was that…?"

Soos blinked as he spotted Stoney following Wendy into the family room. "Hey! Come back here, you!"

He raced after the trespasser, inadvertently dragging his manacled girlfriend along with him.

"Soos!" Melody tried to keep her footing in pace to the larger man's movement, "Wait! Don't…"

Unfortunately, as the pair passed a nearby column, the odd walking arrangement ended with each person going a different direction. The link wrapped about the support, forcing Soos and Melody to a stop. They crashed face-first, only to fall onto the ground again.

"Ow! Like-major-ow!"

Melody looked down at her cuffed wrist before focusing on her injured beau, "We _really_ have to get a system going here…"

* * *

Once inside of the living room, Wendy flew over Stan's grooved recliner and headed for the front door. She felt bad about leaving her bosses in such a predicament, but it was for the best. Wendy understood that _she alone was the prime target of this attack_. _The best way to keep her friends safe was to create as much distance from her as humanly possible._

Wendy took hold of the door knob and twisted it. However, the exit refused to budge in the slightest.

"What gives?!" She double-checked to make sure that the locks were all undone. There was no reason to why the door shouldn't open, but despite her best efforts, Wendy could not get it to move.

The sound of pounding prompted the startled adolescent to turn around.

"Wendy?! Are you okay?! Let us in!"

"Say something! Open the door!"

Wendy saw Stoney rise up from a kneeling position. He had placed a sort of solid-plastic stopper beneath the bottom of the door, preventing it from opening. She spun around to confirm her suspicions. Sure enough, there was another of the same type of stopper buried deep under the front door, well beyond the reach of her fingertips.

 _"Here we here – alone at last…"_

Stoney shuffled forward, his arms wide open as if he was expecting a warm embrace. With his every step, Wendy could make out an odd, yet familiar sound:

*CLING –CLING!* *CLING –CLING!* *CLING –CLING!*

A chill went down her backside as Wendy located the source. A pair of shackles was looped around Stoney's belt; the metal clattered in conjunction with his movements.

The noise triggered a flashback within Wendy – a small montage of the brief history she had shared with this slightly-older boy. It had been years before when she rebelled against the "boring" outdoors lessons that her father tried to instill upon her. Wendy figured why would she need to know such things?

She had bumped into the retro-themed tween by chance, as his styling had caught her eye. As they conversed, Stoney offered to teach her his methods of tracking and hunting. Unlike Manly Dan, he actually made it more practical, and to a sense, even fun at certain moments.

Wendy had learned a great deal from the new boyfriend in a short while, adding a variety of tricks and tacts to her skill set. But the more time she spent with Stoney, the more she started to see a sinister side to him.

Her dad had shown that there was to be a sense of respect for nature in spite of their sometimes – harsh manner in order to survive in the wild; taking only what was needed, and prevent as little suffering towards their quarry as possible.

Stoney didn't believe in such things.

He lived for the thrill of the kill, adoring how his victims thrashed about for freedom in vain while ensnared in overly elaborate traps. Excitement and absolute pleasure would overtake him as Stoney truly enjoyed watching the panic and fear in such unlucky souls.

When Wendy spoke up against such cruelty, her role in the young hunter's eyes had changed, from collaborator working side-to-side, to another wild animal that needed to be tamed. It was then when the taller pre-teen had broken any link to the crazed tracker indefinitely.

But history has a way of repeating itself, and once more, the lumberjack princess found herself in her former teammate's crosshairs…

 _"But it'll be different this time…"_ Wendy vowed to herself. " _I won't let him win…"_

As Stoney reached the middle of the room, the auburn-haired beauty changed her game plan. She darted towards the half-way broken stairs to the second floor of the Mystery Shack.

 _"If I can make it to one of the bedrooms upstairs, I can take a window to the roof and finally lose this creep!"_

As soon as Wendy's feet made contact with the second set of wooden steps, they instantly became fastened in place.

 _"What in the hell?!"_ She switched back and forth between legs, pulling upwards on her boots with both hands using everything she had. _"It's no use – I'm stuck tight!"_

The jingle of metal ringing in her ears forced Wendy to turn around. Stoney stood directly behind her with cuffs in hand.

"Dude," Wendy gave her right ankle another tug, "You put _glue_ on the stairs?!"

"Not glue," Stoney explained with a pleased look on his face, " _Industrial-strength adhesive paper_. You need to call in the big guns for the biggest pests…"

Wendy gazed down at the flooring, noticing a moment too late that the tops of the stairs were a different shade of color from the rest.

"That's the difference between you and me, Wendy. _You always need to be two-steps ahead in order to win in this game…"_

"And you placed the sheet on the second step," she replied sarcastically, "Cute. Very cute…"

"And now," Stoney opened the irons, "Time for the killing stroke…"

Just as the predator reached out for his prize, Wendy back-flipped out of her fixed shoes, landing roughly on her red-and-yellow stocking feet behind him. Before Stoney knew what had happened, the adrenaline-fueled teen pushed her tormentor into his own glue trap. He threw his hands outwards, catching himself on the railings before landing face down on the steps.

With her attacker pre-occupied, Wendy ran down the hallway leading towards the exhibition hall. The spare room had been used for various changing themes and attractions throughout the visiting seasons – the most popular being Stanley Pines's Hall of Wax Celebrities.

Wendy's lungs burned as she continued to sprint on the balls of her feet. She knew escape was a few yards away.

 _"As long as the guys didn't block off the windows in here, I'm home free!"_

She threw open the double doors leading the room, only to grind to a complete stop!

 _"What is this?!"_ Wendy scanned the area for an answer, quickly recognizing the recent changes. A sense of dread formed in her chest, _"Oh no! Not this! Not now!"_

The wooden paneling had been replaced with a dark-covered, grey-bricked background. Fake, but very messy spider webs had been hung across the ceiling. A thin layer of dust had been sprinkled around the room, adding to the illusion that it had been untouched for a long period of time.

Series of plastic shackles and leg irons were fastened to the walls. An oversized iron maiden with plastic spikes was placed against the left corner. On the opposite end, a roller-based rack was held upright with a pulley and lever system at its side.

Across the room, a guillotine and pillory combo had been bolted down, as its sharpened blade hung overhead. But worse of all, Wendy found herself teetering before an open pair of ankle stocks left right in front of the entrance.

Wendy couldn't believe her dumb luck. _"It's the "Famed Tortures Devices of Medieval Times" exhibit! How – Why would they set this garbage up again?!"_

The despised attraction was the very last thing Wendy needed to see at the moment – _especially what had happened during the last summer as she was blackmailed into being a renaissance-themed barefoot wench for display purposes._

And with Stoney on her heels, this was the worst possible place to be, considering that her foe was someone who specialized in gleefully imprisoning his victims.

Wendy gulped as she started to back away from the display with her hands up, "E-Easy now…just got to…"

She froze as a strange *WRRRL!* sound filled the air. Just as Wendy went to turn around, a set of balos struck her, wrapping a thin, but strong wiring around her arms, pinning them at her sides. The momentum of the blow sent her flying into the stocks.

Wendy tripped over the setup, landing knees-first into the padded seat. She realized that being in such a position left her utterly vulnerable.

 _"I have to get out of here before – "_

*SLAM!*

The cashier yelped out in pain as the top half of the stocks smash down hard on her shins. Wendy jerked and strained her ankles, finding that she wasn't able to haul her feet past the much-smaller holes in the structure. Every jostle resulted in the rattling of the sealed latches holding the planks together – a simple reminder that she was trapped in place.

 _"Not again! "_ Wendy squirmed against her bindings, trying to slide the ropes from around her shoulders.

"Well, well, well," Stoney walked around his ex as he held his hands behind his back, "You just keep ending up in these predicaments, don't you?"

Wendy remained silent, her green eyes following her captor's every moment as he bragged proudly. When Stoney left her line of sight towards the front of the display, she felt a pair of fingernails drag down both her arches, making Wendy's body buck upwards in ticklish reflex.

"AAH!" She cried out, testing the limits of her restraints, "Don't touch me, freak!"

"Don't be a sore loser, love." Stoney came back around to the rear of the stocks, fumbling an unseen object in his hands, "Our game has come to an end…"

He opened his palms, revealing that he was in possession of a small, but sturdy silver padlock.

"… _and_ _you lost_ …"

Her emerald eyes lit up upon seeing the dead bolt in her ex-boyfriend's grasp, _"If he uses that, there's no way I'll be able to break out of these things! I gotta work fast…"_

Just as Stoney bent down to attach the lock to the stocks' latch, Wendy called out to him, "Stoney, wait!"

He paused, not even bothering to look up at her, "Yes?"

"I – I give up…" the ensnared teen admitted, lowering her head in shame. "I'll say it: you won, I lost…"

Satisfied, Stoney picked himself up, "That's good, lady. Admitting it is the first step…"

"Actually," Wendy lifted her head as she stared at her conqueror, "That's not the only thing I'll cop to. To be honest, I…" She bit her lip and made her "confession," I missed… _this_."

"Really?" He set the bolt down on the top of the stock and leaned over, "And what's that?"

"The thrill of the chase; the excitement in moments away from being caught; _all of it…"_

Stoney grew even closer, "Deep down, I knew you loved this. How could you not? It's in your genes, Wendy – _your blood_ …"

Wendy shifted her knees, enabling her to slant further. She was nearly nose to nose with Stoney – him being enthralled by her sudden "change of heart." Her plan was working!

"Maybe you're right…" She flicked her eyelashes suggestively and lowered her voice to a sultry tone, _"Maybe you were right about a lot of things…"_ The lumberjane also noticed that her jailer was lined up perfectly with the guillotine display behind him.

Convinced that the deal was sealed, Stoney closed his eyes and shifted towards Wendy with lips puckered. Seeing her final chance at freedom, Wendy pulled her head back and threw it forward, delivering a crushing head butt that sent Stoney stumbling backwards. A trail of blood flowed from his nostrils and onto the floor as Wendy's brow began to swell and throb.

"Dammit! That hurt!" She fidgeted about, wishing that her hands were free so she could rub her injury. At the same time, the flannel-donned captive watched as Stoney fell face up into the adjacent pillory. The tremor he made caused the top portion to come crashing down, pinning his neck and wrists into place. As luck would have it, its latch was forced downwards, effectively sealing him inside the configuration.

"Hey…Hey!" He kicked wildly as his upper body was held down. "What is this?! Get me out of this thing!"

"How's it feel, pal?!" Wendy mocked from her stocks. "It's not so funny now, is it?!" With Stoney finally disposed of, the redhead went to work on making her break out. She lowered her body back into her knees and the back of her legs, letting out a groan of discomfort due to the extra pressure.

With new limits set, Wendy was able to use her right hand pinned against her hip to reach her belt.

 _"Where…is it? Where is it? I know…you're there…AHA!"_

She let out a sigh of relief as her fingers found the instrument of her escape. With a few thrusts, Wendy was able to retrieve her trusty handheld axe – the same one given to her by the Pines twins the previous Christmas – and slowly turned it towards her with blade upwards.

 _"Almost…"_ Wendy rubbed the edge of her axe against the ropes of the bolas. Within a few moments, she could hear the lines beginning to snap and break.

*K-RAK!*

The black wires slid off her body, allowing movement back to her arms. After placing her axe back into its holder, Wendy curved her back as far as possible, once again using her fingertips to provide her sight.

 _"Gotta…Gotta get my feet out of this thing…"_

Seconds later, Wendy located the latch binding the stocks on top of her ankles. She flicked the fastener and used her thighs to throw the pillars open. Now free, Wendy sat down on the cushion and massaged her sore shins, noting the red marks that had been imprinted during her struggles.

"I – " Stoney stuttered in disbelief of the lady Houdini's performance. "I can't believe it…"

"Believe it, Stoney!" Wendy set her feet back onto the floor; a gentle fuzzy sensation traveled up her legs as they regained feeling. She took the padlock from the top panel of the foot stocks and headed towards the pillory. She dropped to one knee, so that her ex-boyfriend could see her actions, and slid the dead bolt in the latch, sealing him in the trap with a decisive *CLICK!*

"Refresh my memory…" Wendy crossed her arms and paced in front of Stoney's head, "Who won this little game of yours?"

He turned his head sideways, so that the blood would be able to flow away from his face, "You won…HA! You won the only way you could: by lying, by cheating, by deception…"

"Please! You were two seconds away from mounting me on your wall like some kind of trophy!" She walked away in disgust, "Did you ever think that's why I left you, Stoney? Because of how you go crazy like this? Because you never seem to get the hint of when enough is enough?!"

"Pssh…" he mumbled. "But where's the fun in that?"

Wendy lowered herself down his level, "Well, is it "fun" anymore, Stoney? How are things now that the shoe's on the other foot?" Her freckled face lit up as she got an idea, "Speaking of…"

Much to Stoney's shock, Wendy went back to the other end of his pillory and reached into his pocket. She pulled out his wallet, dug around until she found a twenty-dollar bill, and tossed the leather piece back on his chest.

 _"You're…robbing me?!"_

"Rob – strob!" Wendy went back to where his head was held, "Your stupid little glue trick definitely ruined my boots! You wreck them, you buy them!" She offered a sardonic wave before bidding him goodbye, "And with that, see you in another life, Stoney. Maybe you won't be such a jerk then..." Wendy started to head for the exhibit's exit.

"Where - ? Are you leaving?!"

"You got it…" Wendy answered without as much as looking behind her, "Soos and Melody will probably let you out…once they're bored of your ugly mug!"

Stoney went back to fighting against his restraints, "You think this is over, right? Far from it! This is only the beginning. Believe me, girl! Do you think that Eli and I were the only ones that want to celebrate _this special day with you_ – "

"Stop saying that!" Wendy demanded. "I'm getting real sick and tired of having that thrown in my face!"

"But it's true! You'd be surprised if you found out how much trouble we went through for you! How many of your old friends we had to bring in for today? Heh. _The hardest one to find was probably that kid from California…"_

Wendy stopped in mid-step. She glanced over her shoulder, _"What kid from California?!"_

"Oh, you know…" Stoney wiggled his stocked hand, "The pudgy little dork with the stupid name. I can't remember, but I know it was really lame…"

She rushed back to her detainee, "Dipper?!"

"Yeah, that's it! Poor kid – why couldn't he have a cool name like "Stoney"…:"

Wendy stooped forward to face Stoney, "What are you talking about – why would he be here?"

"It's like I said, lovely," Stoney flashed a blood-stained Cheshire beam, "All of your favorite people are coming back home for an one-time engagement…"

Her expression turned stern, "Stoney, where is he?"

"Who?"

"Dipper! Where is Dipper?!"

"Why would – " He paused, his wicked smile stretching out further, "Oh, I see. Did we hit a sensitive spot within that stone-cold-heart of yours? You getting soft on me, love? Didn't think you'd go back to the young ones now -"

"Stoney, I swear if you hurt him in any way – "

"Relax! Your latest fan is safe and sound," he elaborated. "All you need to know is that _we have him_."

"Who's " _we_?""

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Stoney jiggled his trapped wrists, "The only way you'll find out is if you let me out of here. I promise I'll take you right to him, and then, _we'll all have some real fun…"_

Wendy made it back to her feet with a snarl. She had hit her limit with all of the teasing and subtle threats. She reached overhead to the wire supporting the guillotine's blade and held it tightly in her hands.

Stoney's eyes widened at the sight, "What – What are you doing?!"

"You like to play games…" Wendy tugged on the rope to raise the cutting edge higher, "So, we'll play games. Mine is called, _"Tell me where my boy is, or I'll cut your friggin' head off!"_ How's that for a game, huh?"

Beads of sweat traveled down his forehead, "You – You can't be serious!"

"I'm _deadly_ serious!" Wendy exclaimed. "You have three seconds to tell me what I want to know before you end up on a pike as a decoration here! One…"

"I – I don't believe you…"

"Two!"

"You wouldn't – you don't have it in you!"

"Three!"

As promised, Wendy let the cord slide from her hand. The blade came rushing down at an alarming speed!

"Okay! Okay!" Stoney screamed in a high-pitch tone, "I'll tell you! I'll tell!"

Wendy snagged the rope before the knife touched Stoney's jugular.

"Start talking!"

Tears started to flow from his eyes, "All I know is that I was supposed to take you to the old abandoned lumbermill at the edge of town. That's where they're having your party! If anything, that kid will be there, too! They were going to pick him up from the bus stop about an hour ago…"

"Thanks, Stoney," Wendy's attitude instantly lightened. "You've been a big help…" She moved away from his sights, as he spotted the guillotine's rope flying through the air.

"Wait! You said – "

The raised blade shot down like a bolt of lightning towards him.

"But I told you – AAAHHH!"

Stoney closed his eyes and waited for the end…only to re-open them as he only felt a simple tap against his throat. He twisted his neck, seeing that the dangerous, sharpened blade was now a black and grey crumple on the floor.

"And you said I'm getting soft?" He heard Wendy's laughter from across the room. "At least I don't end up pissing my pants over paper-mache and cheap plastic!"

"You – "

He thrashed for freedom, howling to the top of his lungs over the girl that tricked him yet again; the padlock holding him in place echoed throughout the hallway.

"Wendy! You too-tall bitch! I swear you'll pay for this! _Your time will come!"_

* * *

As Wendy made it back to the living room, the Gift Shop entrance exploded open with a *BANG!* Soos and Melody burst through. They spotted their exhausted cohort and hurried to her side.

"Wendy? Are you alright?!"

"Where's that creepy hunter-dude?" Soos asked. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No…" she shook her head, pointing down the hall, "Let's just say he's a bit "tied-up" at the moment. Her thoughts swiftly changed as she recalled her predicament moments before, "That reminds me…"

Wendy's eyes narrowed at the unsuspecting manager in front of her, "Why in the world would you put all that "torture" stuff back up? _Did you forget what happened to me last year?!"_

Soos earnestly lifted his shoulders, accidentally forcing Melody to take another step closer, "I needed a new display in a hurry. So, I made do with what I had…"

"But that one, Soos? _You had to use that one?!"_

"What happened to you…?" Melody found herself baffled by the argument. It was an instance later when she was able to piece everything together. "Soos! You didn't – "

He held an innocent hand against his flabby chest, "I didn't do it. It was Mr. Pines's idea! But, you should have the tip jar she walked away with that day. I'm telling you – Wendy made bank!"

"To be fair," Wendy went into detail, "Most of that was Dipper, and even then – " She slapped herself on the side of the head at the mere mention of her lost companion, "Damn! I almost forgot!" The girl went towards the stairs, where her boots remained glued to the spot. "I have to hurry!"

"Forgot what?! What's happened?!"

Wendy grabbed the top of her left wader and wrenched it back towards her. She moaned as she tried to free her shoes, " _Dipper…it's Dipper!_ _Stoney said that he's back in Gravity Falls!"_

"What?! That's crazy! How did he get back here?"

"Where is he now? Is he okay?!"

"Yes…no…I don't know!" Wendy went on, rushing through the barrage of questions. "All I know is that I have to find him before those weirdos – "

She stopped as Soos stepped up to task. With his free hand, he ripped her boots from the adhesive trap and placed them in her arms. "Thanks, big guy…" Wendy stepped back into her footwear, noticing a thin layer of each sole had permanently marked the steps. " _Ugh…I knew it…"_

"Like I was saying, I have to get to Dip before those jerks can mess him up…" She hurried past through the family room, and back into the Gift Shop, where she picked her jacket up from the floor.

"Wait a sec, Wendy," Melody inquired. "Where are you going now?!"

"To the old lumbermill at the end of town." Wendy clarified. "That's where Stoney said he was going to bring me…"

"You can't go all by yourself." Soos noted.

"We'll go with you!" Melody volunteered

"No!" She objected. "No offense, but you two will only slow me down, especially while cuffed together like that. This way, I can get the drop of these assholes before they knew what hit them. Besides, I want you to stay here in case Dipper is able to get away from those guys somehow…"

"Why would you think that?"

Wendy gave a sarcastic glare, " _This is Dipper we're talking about here…"_ Now that she was bundled up for the weather, the overly-concerned teenager rushed out the Gift Shop exit. "Don't worry, guys! I'll be back with our dork in a jiffy!"

"Wendy, wait!"

"Come back!"

A moment later, the dashing ginger seemed nothing more than a blur among the falling snow.

Left alone, Soos and Melody gave each other a worried look, only to have their sights switch to their shackled wrists.

"You know," Melody noted. "Wendy did say that the guy is still in the exhibition hall…"

"Hey, yeah!" Soos agreed. "We can make him give us the key for this thing!"

They hurried down the foyer and threw open the double doors. Melody gasped aloud at the sight before her as Soos found himself dumbfounded, "I don't believe it…"

The guillotine's attachment pillory had been thrown open, almost to the point that its attached hinges that been torn off. An opened padlock lay on the floor next to it, as a trail of thin red droplets led to an open window on the left end, letting a cold, winter breeze flow through the entire room.

 _"He's gone…"_


	3. Chapter 3

_"Hang on, Dipper! I'm on my way!"_

Wendy flew through the infinite number of trees surrounding her in the Gravity Falls Woods. Her long auburn hair draped behind her like a fiery trail, save for the sampling of snowflakes sprinkled about; the hood of her jacket had been blown down within seconds of her journey. Her booted feet traveled at such a velocity, she barely left footprints behind her in the chalk-white ground.

In an ironic sense, the mighty timbers served not only as obstacles, but as protection to her as well. Taking the main path would be suicide! After the attack at the Mystery Shack, Wendy realized that there was no safe place left in Gravity Falls. Going in via camouflage would probably be the best way to counter her enemies.

 _"But who are they?"_ Wendy wondered. _"Stoney and Eli said that others were waiting for me. What others? What would they want from me? And how's Dipper involved in all of this? Hell, I don't even know why those two are here in Gravity Falls in the first place!"_

Being deep in thought distracted Wendy from noticing a random, frozen root sticking out of the earth. Wendy's right foot tripped over it, causing her to stumble to the floor. Instead of failing, the nimble lumberjane tucked down and rolled into a somersault, springing back on her feet an instant, never once losing any momentum.

Wendy shook her head clear of the countless questions and focused on the task at hand. Although she maintained a positive attitude in front of Soos and Melody, she could only wonder about how her boy was doing.

 _"I know Dip can hold his own,"_ the cashier thought, _"But…these creeps seem on top of their game. They knew what shortcuts I took in school and at what time. They also knew that I worked at the Shack and that I hang out there when things get rough, but how?"_

She hadn't seen her exes in years, so they were quickly ruled out – _they had to be given such information_. Dipper's involvement made Wendy question if the mastermind behind this scheme was one of the many enemies that they had made during their summertime escapades.

Wendy quickly dismissed the assumption, _"Yeah, but if it was a ghost or monster or…"_ She shuddered at the notion, _"…that "triangle-demon thing," there'd be more "supernatural-ly" things happening here, like the last time…"_

The threats that Eli and Stoney presented were more based in reality – a physical violence that was just as dangerous as any of the oddities her hometown hid in its shadows. It was this that made Wendy nervous: Dipper prided himself on being a crack-shot paranormal hunter, but based on what she'd seen, these guys were beyond the mere bullies that plagued the middle-schooler daily.

While Wendy knew how Dipper relied on his quick wit to get him out of trouble regularly, he was still a tiny boy with very little brawn and a smart mouth: a precarious combination when dealing with unhinged individuals such as these.

 _"I mean, I barely escaped from them with a few scrapes and bruises. And Dipper, he'd…I have to hurry!_

Wendy came out of the forest and looked to the sky. The cloudy outcast was becoming a dark blue. The sun was almost set as the moon began to form ahead. She knew that her time was running out. Even if Dipper had managed to flee his captors, there was a slim chance he was equipped to handle a cold, dark night in wintertime Oregon.

Once more, the high-schooler avoided the traveled path, instead opting to take another alternative route to the lumber mill. Wendy headed west, deciding to cut across the Gravity Falls Graveyard to her goal.

 _"With a little luck,"_ Wendy hoped. _"Maybe I'll run into the guys by Robbie's house before they head out on their stupid "Fallers' Day" plans. Some extra backup could definitely come in handy…"_

She scorned at the damned holiday for the umpteenth time. _Of all the days in the year, why did all of this insanity have to happen today? Didn't she have to deal with enough already?_

But still, the celebration made Wendy's anger fade as her mind switched again to her admirer. She couldn't imagine what was said or done in order to bring Dipper back to Gravity Falls, especially on such short notice. Was he promised something so great that he couldn't help but follow these strangers blindly? Had they threatened her in any way, prompting Dipper to take immediate action for her sake?

No matter what the reason had been, it was without question that her friend would follow her to the gates of hell and back. And with the way things were unfurling, he was going to need all the help he could get. As Stoney had explained earlier, Dipper had as much of a bull's-eye on his back as Wendy did.

Wendy slowed her pace as she came across the cemetery. The last thing she would need is to trip over a headstone or to slip into an open grave. She carefully scanned the area every few steps, to avoid being startled by another unknown foe. The statues and decorations adorning the dozens of tombstones added to Wendy's ever-growing tension as they gave off demonic glances. The uncut, long blades of glass brushed up against her ankles, reminding Wendy of zombie fingertips reaching out from the grave like one of her cheesy B-horror movies. Drips of sweat traveled down her back as her palms and soles became moist.

It was one thing to hang out in the cemetery on a warm, sunny day in the summer with a group of friends, but now that Wendy was all alone in the dead of winter as dusk crept in, it was a whole another world spread out before her. A chill invaded her overly-warm body – _a feeling that reminded Wendy of her misadventures at the Dusk2Dawn convenience store._

Even though she had traveled down this road a thousand times, for some bizarre reason, the ambiance appeared to be completely foreign to her. The feral calls of usually-common wildlife made her spin around in reflex.

 _"Egh! What's happening to me?"_

Fed up, Wendy slapped her face with both hands for an instant wake-up call. _"Come on, Wendy-girl! Dipper's counting on you, so you gotta get it together, now!"_

All of a sudden, Wendy could make out a symbol of hope a few yards away in the distance. The Valentino Funeral Home – the current residence of Robbie V. and his family – sat on the hillside just past the cemetery's exit.

Wendy let out a sigh of relief, _"Finally! Time to get out of this creepshow…"_

"My, how you've grown, my sweet Gwendy…"

Her boots came to a grinding halt. Her freckled skin instantly became goose flesh at the sound of the familiar voice – a tone she'd hoped that she would never have to hear ever again. With a wince, Wendy began to turn around as she silently prayed.

 _"Not him. Please, dear heaven, not him!"_

She spotted an older boy dressed in lumberjack flannel parked on top of an overly-large concrete monument. Unlike the woodcutters of old, his outfit consisted of a navy blue and black rather than green. His elbows were resting upon his dark-jeaned knees as the stranger analyzed every possible detail of his prey.

His overly shiny boots were lowered to the iced-over ground as he stroked his tightly-cut brownish-red goatee; it was the only hint of his heritage considering his blackish stubble and medium-length hair. The young adult flipped his wrap-around shades into his brow, revealing a pair of haunting amber eyes.

 _"You!"_

He opened his bare arms, almost as if he expecting a welcomed embrace, exposing _a series of tribal tattoos wrapped around each of his burly forearms_ – a distinguished detail that Wendy had openly admired in another life.

"I know it took a very long time," he flashed a baleful grin at the still-stunned girl. "But here we are…"

 _"Zeke!"_ Wendy's emerald eyes grew wide as she backed away from him. Her voice fell into a faltering mess as she struggled to comprehend to this was really happening. "W-W-What are you doing here?! How – How did you find me?!"

He drew nearer, "How could I not? Granted, "Downstate-Oregon" is a reasonable span to search though, but it's like I promised: _I would find you again, no matter how long it took_ …" Zeke's smile stretched further as he reached out for her cheek, "Besides, you know my life isn't complete without you at my side, my perfect lumberjack queen – "

"Get away from me!" Wendy used her arm to create some space. "And I told you not to call me that! Queens are old and wrinkly. Do I look like a grandma to you?"

He moved his hand back, "Oh, come now, Gwendolyn. Let's not get start our reunion out on the wrong foot – "

"And that's not my name!" Wendy interrupted. _"It's Wendy!"_

Zeke placed a fist against his side, "You shouldn't be embarrassed of the name your mother gave you – "

" _Don't you dare bring her into this!_ " The lumberjill regained a bit of her courage as her fury rose. Suddenly, Wendy froze up as things started to finally make some sense.

" _It's you_ …" she asked while making sure to keep a safe distance. _"You did all of this, didn't you?!_ With Eli and Stoney, and everything?"

Zeke seemed pleased by her accusation, going as far as to take a bow. "That's my girl. A little slow on the uptake, but smart enough to figure it out in the end. How things change and yet, still remain the same…"

"I will never be _your girl!"_

Wendy threw her hands against her head; part of her wanting to tug on her hair in absolute frustration. "How can you just act like – " She paused once more as the object of her quest popped into her mind.

"Dipper…"

"Huh?" Zeke was surprised by the sudden end of her tirade.

Wendy dashed forward and grabbed him by the blue collar. Her tone turned serious as the thought of her lost buddy fueled her wrath.

"Zeke…" Her grip grew even tighter. "Where…is…Dipper? What have you done with him?!"

His lips curled as his face constricted. Zeke threw his head back and exploded in rambunctious laughter. Wendy raised an eyebrow at his unexpected change of behavior.

"What's so funny?"

Zeke wiped away a tear from his eye with a free hand. "Oh, my brave Gwen-Gwen…

Like a bolt of lightning, his mirth vanished. His expression grew dark as his brow lowered, catching Wendy off-guard. He thrust forward with full strength, breaking her grip, and sending the gangly teen flying backwards.

 _"…you forget your place!"_

With a groan, Wendy went to regain her balance, discovering that her heels couldn't find solid ground. She gazed over her shoulder to see that she was teetering over the edge of an open grave!

"WHOA-A-A!"

Wendy waved her arms wildly as Zeke approached her. He offered an open palm, leading Wendy to choose between accepting and taking a painful plunge into the gaping hole. Left without any other choice, she reached out for Zeke's hand…

…only for him to pull his arm away at the last moment, showing off a sneer before Wendy fell backwards into the pit.

*THUD!*

Her side throbbed as Wendy lied immobile on the dirt-covered floor. She opened her eyes, taking a minute to re-gather her strength. She let out another moan as she struggled to make it back to her feet.

 _"Well, that happened…Just like old times…"_

Wendy could feel her knees wanting to buckle, but she fought against it. _Dipper needed her to keep going. Her own sake depended on being able to fight back._ She raised her head as a shadow blanketed her from the limited light.

Zeke stood over the front of the grave with his hands tucked away into his pockets. "Are we having fun yet?"

The trapped adolescent paced around her makeshift prison, her sight dutifully focused on the greatest threat yet. "Is that all this is to you, Zeke?! Some type of twisted game?"

"It's not just "my game," Zeke extended his arm into the enclosed area outside of her sight of view, "It's "ours…""

 _"Ours?"_

The last fraction of light was taken away from her as more figures appeared at the gravesite. On Wendy's left and right stood a revived Eli and Stoney, save for the injuries they had acquired when trying to wrangle in the rowdy redhead; a huge reddish-purple mark wrapped around Eli's neck while Stoney's nostrils were plugged up with blood-stained pieces of tissue paper.

"You two again?!" Wendy threw her arms down in disgust. "Is anything else going to happen today?!"

Zeke held up his index finger, "Don't worry. There's more…"

"More? More what?!"

She made out the sound of soft footprints coming from behind her. Wendy twirled around to see that two more people blocked off the back end of the hole. Her jaw dropped as she recognized her newest challengers.

"You've got to be kidding me!"

Another male duo looked down over her. The first had messy, dark brown hair covered with white snow that dripped into his Gravity Falls High varsity jacket. He crossed his arms as his runny nose dripped, prompting to be sniff loudly. Next to him, stood another boy, but dressed in really lame gaming-related clothing. Oddly enough, his shirt and blue-tinted hair appeared to be singed in several places.

 _"Russ…Durham?"_ She shifted to another ex-boyfriend, _"And Psyche?!_ You guys are part of this, too?!"

"How could we not, Wen …?" Russ answered.

"Especially today, since – "

"ARGGGHHHH!" Wendy screamed aloud as she covered her ears. "I – AM – SO SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT FRIGGIN' FEBRUARY 29th!"

"Well, isn't that too bad…?" Zeke mocked. "Look around you, Red. The past has finally caught up with you…"

She spun around, as the five pairs of angry eyes glared down at her from above, blocking any chance of escape.

"And there's no way out. You might as well give yourself up…"

Not to be bested so easily, Wendy pulled out her hatchet and twirled it between her fingers, making her pursuers gasp in amazement. One by one, they each stepped away from the hole in fear of the skillful lumberjack princess.

"Don't be fools!" Zeke ordered. "She's all the way down there! Nearly a six-foot-drop! There's no way she could reach you!"

Accepting his challenge, Wendy narrowed her eyes and shown a devious beam. The axe in her hand came to a stop.

"Are you sure about that?"

She lowered her gaze to her blade- a hint of sadness was given off; almost apologetic in nature as she thought of her twin friends that scrapped together enough funds to give her this precious gift.

 _"Sorry, guys. I'll come back for it when this is all over – I swear…"_

Without warning, Wendy took off towards the back part of the pit, where Russ and Psyche stood guard. She leapt into the air, springing off her right foot and making it to the half-point of the grave. At the peak of her jump, Wendy thrust her axe deep into the earth, creating a makeshift handhold for herself.

"WHOA!"

"WOW!"

"What is she doing?!"

"Did you see that?!"

Zeke remained silent as he studied her strategy; even after all these years, he enjoyed watching her go to work.

As her chasers were stunned, Wendy pushed off with both feet, leaving her hatchet buried in the dirt wall. She soared towards Eli, making him shriek in terror and curl into a ball. Wendy took advantage of this, reaching out with her arms, and using his shoulders as a launch pad. She flipped over him, and landed awkwardly on her left leg.

"Ow!"

Wendy bit her lip and shifted her weight. She prayed that her ankle was simply sprained, and not twisted. The injured warrior sprinted down the open path, making sure to support her tender foot as she ran.

"She's getting away, you idiots!" Zeke bellowed at he pointed directly at her. "After her!"

Wendy looked behind her to see that the five crazed beaus had given full chase. She tried to speed up, as the throbbing in her leg made her limp with every few steps. In spite of her best efforts, Wendy knew that she wouldn't be able to last long like this. She went to turn back around, only to crash face-first into something hard.

"Ugh…" Wendy rubbed her head, trying to regain her sights, as she landed on the cold ground. "What was that?"

"Hey, it's Wenders!"

"Whoa, Wendy. Are you alright?!"

The familiar voices made Wendy look upwards. She smiled as both Robbie V. and Nate each offered a hand to her.

"Phew! Finally, some friendly faces!"

Without hesitation, she accepted, placing her hands into their palms, as they pulled her back to her feet.

"What are you guys doing here?" Wendy questioned.

"Well," Robbie used his thumb to highlight his house behind him. "I had to stop home before my date with Tambry tonight…"

"And I was hanging out until we met up with everyone else to watch the shower…" Nate explained.

" _Good call..._ " Wendy congratulated herself on guessing correctly.

"So, what's up…"

Nate stopped in mid-sentence as Zeke and the other ex-boyfriends appeared at the edge of the cemetery. Their leader held an tattooed arm out to his side, signaling for them to hold their ground.

"…with you?"

Wendy backed up, accidentally bumping into the front of her friends yet again.

"It's…kinda of a long story…"

"Friends of yours?" Robbie inquired as he stared down the motley crew standing before his parents' house.

"Absolutely not!" Her frustration quickly turned to embarrassment as she glanced to her left and right; her buddies could easily see the concern in her green eyes. "Listen," she admitted. "I don't usually ask for things like this, but I could really, really use – "

The boys responded by placing a warming hand on her shoulders.

"Say no more…"

"We got your back, Wendy…"

Zeke could see the confidence growing in the downtrodden ginger, now that she had proper backup. "Cute…" He beaded his red eyes at the new arrivals. _"Real cute…"_

For what seemed like an eternity, the two groups of teenagers stared each other down; neither side daring to move a single muscle. Nate was the first to break the extended silence.

"Um…Wendy?"

"What's up, guy?" Her attention remained stationed on the numerous threats before her.

"Can I ask a quick question?"

"Not the best time…but go ahead…"

Nate looked over at Robbie. Their eyes met as they gave each other a corresponding nod. He reached into his coat and pulled out an unmarked bottle and a plain-white facecloth. With the redhead distracted, he mutely popped the top, and began to empty its contents into the handkerchief.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

"Does – WHAT?!"

Without warning, Robbie lounged forward and grabbed both of Wendy's wrists, holding her arms firmly behind her back.

"Hey!" Wendy shrieked. "What are you doing – HMMPH!"

As she was left defenseless, Nate stepped up and held the duster over her nose and mouth. A sweet-and-sour odor invaded Wendy's nostrils, relieving her of all breath. She stepped back, going against Robbie's hold, and delivered a devastating elbow into Nate's breadbasket, sending him crashing to the ground while clutching his stomach.

With her adrenaline pumping, Wendy pulled her arms forward, throwing Robbie onto his backside. "What's wrong with you two? Are you nuts?! What do you think you're – "

All at once, the world began to spin around her. She couldn't catch her breath. Her eyes and nose felt as if they were set aflame. Wendy fought the urge to vomit. Her ears rang while her legs went numb. She crashed to the earth, pain no longer a concern, and found herself surrounded by ex-boyfriends yet again.

Zeke walked up to her, "Not to worry, Gwendy. They were just messin' with you. That chloroform bit only works in the movies. However, the vinegar-based solution I gave them packs the same punch. But, I don't have to tell you about that, do I?"

He stepped between Robbie and Nate, and wrapped his arms around them. "You guys did great work! She didn't see that coming by a long shot!"

Wendy wanted to scream and shout, but her voice was gone. Her lungs burned, making it harder to breath as the seconds passed. The water involuntarily flowing from her eyes blurred Wendy's vision, but she could still make out Nate and Robbie snickering along with Zeke at her fallen form.

 _"But why?!"_ She wished to ask. Wendy couldn't understand why her friends would turn on her like that…

…until it finally hit her – _her fatal flaw_ – the one fact that she had brushed aside throughout every encounter, and yet, it was the only thing that linked all of these people together:

 _"They're – They're ex-boyfriends, too!"_

The poison had made its way to the rest of Wendy's body, forcing her down even further into a prone position on the frozen grass. The gentle numbness had swiftly turned into complete and utter paralysis, leaving Wendy at her enemies' mercy.

Just as her consciousness faded away into a pitch black, Wendy could sense a pair of black boots standing inches away from her face.

"Don't you fret, my queen…" Zeke affectionately rubbed her lengthly red locks. "Your lumberjack king is here, and he's going to make everything all better…"

 _"No…stay…stay away…"_

Zeke's voice followed her into the darkness. "Get your rest now, and when you wake-up, we'll have everything set for your party. Believe me, _it'll be something that you will never-ever forget…"_


	4. Chapter 4

*CLICK!*

A beam of light stemming from the ceiling made Wendy's green eyes flicker.

"There she is!" A voice announced. "Wakey, wakey, beautiful! You're going to miss all the festivities…"

"Wha…" The girl struggled to make it back to reality. Her eyelids felt heavy. She had problems maintaining her breath. Her nostrils still reeked of a pungent stench. The outside world slowly changed from a messy blur into clarity.

"Where…Where am I?"

Wendy was seated in a stiff, wooden chair. Her body was sore from being in one spot for far too long. She went to stand, discovering that her wrists and ankles had been bound!

"Hey…" Wendy tested each arm and leg, finding that they were duct-taped to a respective part of her seat. She pulled and tugged, going as far as to try to move the chair itself. "What is this?! Lemme go!"

"Now, now…" the mysterious voice attempted to calm her, "Don't go tiring yourself out. We made sure to bolt that chair to the floor, so you wouldn't get any crazy ideas…"

"Ugh!" Defeated, Wendy slumped back into her seat. With another *CLICK!*, the overhead lights shot on through the complex. Judging by her surroundings; the countless conveyor belts, the unused heavy-duty machinery dangling from cast-iron chains, and the sawdust-covered flooring, it was obvious that she was being held in the abandoned lumbermill – the same that her father's lodging company used to occupy years before.

*CLICK!*

And with that final light, the rogue's gallery behind her kidnapping had made themselves known, led by a haunting figure that Wendy had hoped to never see again. The one positive of the whole nightmarish experience was that Dipper was not with them. Was he able to escape, or perhaps, never caught at all?

Strangest of all, a series of expensive-looking stereo equipment had been dragged inside of the forgotten establishment. Numerous, towering speakers were lined up one after another for reasons unknown. The hatchet that she had lost during the battle in the graveyard now rested on a stand next to them, far beyond her current reach.

While her ex-boyfriends waited on the sidelines, engaging in several refreshments set up on a nearby table, Zeke took it upon himself to approach his captive audience.

"Hey, there, sleepyhead," he cheerfully greeted his former beau. "Did our nap put us in a better mood?"

Wendy tested her bonds once more, trying her best not to show any sign of fear or worry – _not to give him any satisfaction at all_. "Fine, Zeke. You got me where you want me. Now what?"

He laughed at the ginger's persistence, even in her dire situation, "So true, so true…" He paced about in the space before her. "But still, I can tell that you have no idea what this is all about, do you?"

"Not a clue…" Wendy blew a loose bang away from her freckled face. "But I'm sure you'll have no problem filling me in, right?"

For a split second, she could see the anger in Zeke's expression for being zinged – a small victory in spite of her peril – before he swiftly subdued his emotion.

He cleared his throat, and opened his right arm towards the rest of his conspirators. " _They_ – we are what this is all about, Gwendolyn – "

" _Wen-dy_!" she corrected for a second time.

Zeke went to speak again, when chatter broke out among the rest of the exes.

"Yeah, why does he keep calling her that?"

"I'm never heard anyone else use that name…"

"Maybe she's embarrassed of it. Or it just pisses her off?"

The annoyed leader spun around, "Who gives a crap?! _What's in a name, anyways?_ For heaven's sake, her grandmother calls her "Winnie" and we're not writing essays on it, are we?"

Wendy blushed at having another family secret revealed.

"Now, if we can get back to the task at hand, gentlemen?!"

They quietly mumbled and whispered before returning to absolute silence.

"Now, then," Zeke focused his sights back on his prisoner, "As I was saying, _Wendy_. Look at them. Every single person in this room you have hurt and wounded because of your cold and callous nature."

"What? I – "

"Admit it!" His voice grew stern. "When you left them behind – when you left _me_ behind, did you care about anyone else's feelings but your own?"

Wendy could easily read between the lines, "Is that what you tell yourself, Zeke? That it's everyone's fault except yours?"

He paused for a moment, his demon-like eyes widening before going back to his gang, "See?! It's like I told you guys! No sympathy! No compassion! No regret! Hell, I'd say she's proud of her trail of broken hearts, owning the fact like a demented badge of honor!"

"Now, wait a minute – "

Zeke walked an invisible line as he pointed down every other boy, "Do you think it matters to her if she made you sad, or depressed, or even cry?"

"That's not – "

"Of course not!" Zeke raised his voice over Wendy's. "Because that's who Gw – Err – Wendy Corduroy is deep down! She can blame age and circumstance all she wants, but look amongst you. Has she learned her lesson along the years? Or merely has our Wendy come to use those excuses far too much for far too long?"

"They're not excuses!" At last, Wendy was able to make her say heard. Every eye on the room was shortly centered on her.

"Oh, really?" Zeke egged on. "Well, then. You look like you have some time on your hands. Why don't you explain yourself?"

He used his arms to segue towards her awaiting public. Russ, Eli, Stoney, and Psyche stared back at her with contempt, in anticipation of a long-awaited answer. On the other side of the table, Danny, Robbie, and Nate broke eye-contact and lowered their heads, as if they were somewhat ashamed of their actions.

"Wow…" Wendy rattled her fingers on the arms of the chair, being as they were one of her few extremities still able to move. "Umm…okay. I know I – I screwed up a lot of things in the past. I'll own up to that. But at the same time, if there's one thing I learned about relationships as I got older is that _they are anything but easy. Sometimes, they're like a two-way street_. Both people can make mistakes and – "

"HA!" A mock rose up from the group.

"Can't even come out and say she's sorry. Even after all these years…"

To Wendy, their protests and grumbles appeared to be deafening.

"It's not that simple! It really isn't. Why can't you understand?"

The crowd grew calm as its smallest member stepped up to address Wendy.

"But…" Danny looked away as he made a great effort to find the courage within, "If things were really that bad, couldn't – couldn't you have just talked to us? Instead of just…"

"Oh, man…" Wendy's heart sunk at seeing Danny for the first time in years, "They got _you_ all mixed up in this, too?" She could tell something was off about him by his appearance – the youngest of the group seemed like he really didn't want to even be there. "You're right – Maybe…talking things through might have helped in some cases…

The entrapped ginger glanced away from Danny to tackle the rest of the group. "But with others, I could have talked until I was blue in the face, and it wouldn't have done a damn thing – "

"What a load of shit!" Russ exploded in anger. He pointed at Zeke, "This guy is right on the money! She'll say whatever she thinks will save her sorry freckled ass!"

"Mm-Hmm…" Stoney nodded in agreement, "Preach, brother!"

Zeke remained silent, leaning back against one of the colossal subwoofers. He smirked as his master plan was finally coming to fruition.

"Oh, really?" Wendy lowered her brow. "Then, tell me, Russ. Why did I leave you?"

"Huh?" His celebration was cut short as she threw the center of attention right back at him.

"If I'm so full of it," Wendy challenged. "Tell them why we're not together anymore?"

"Well…" the jock has caught off-guard. "It was that…you…obviously couldn't handle my awesomeness…"

"HAHA!" Wendy tossed her head back and snorted in laughter.

"What's so funny?!"

"Dude, I – "She blinked, trying to clear her emerald eyes of tears without the use of her hands. "I can't believe you said that! You really don't remember, do you?"

He looked onwards, like a lost puppy.

Wendy began to tell her story, "Russ and I met when…" She took a breath and let out another sigh, "I was going through a rough patch, and he taught me how to use athletics as a way to burn off a lot of stress; you know, since he's always training and stuff. Heck, it's something that I still do today – some say I'm kind of an adrenaline junkie…"

As she said this, a layer of hatred and rage was lifted from Russ's being. It was as he started to recall the way it really went down.

"…but after a while, things changed. It went from something fun that we can do together to some kind of twisted rivalry. I dunno if it was because I was a girl or that friends were joshing him about it, but Russ grew distant…and mean. And one day, he kept putting me down and pushing me, like a sort of demented coach. I had enough, and we decided to put things to a test… _and I won_ …"

"Barely…" Russ scoffed.

"And even after that, he couldn't let it go. It became the topic of every discussion, and shortly after…"

Psyche chuckled, and placed a hand on his shoulder, to which Russ shrugged off, "So, the beefcake did himself in. Go figure…"

"You're one to talk, Psyche. You were about a hop, skip, and jump away from the same thing…"

"Me?" He held a hand against his chest. "What? Because I chose to dedicate my life to something important? You think that since you going through life without giving two – "

"There's nothing wrong with being good at gaming, Psyche," Wendy explained. "Our problem was that _you couldn't see anything around you but that._ What girl in her right mind, would stand around and be ignored, while her guy messes around with some machine?!"

To Wendy's surprise, Danny reached out to her, almost apologetic in his tone, "D-Did I do something like that to hurt you?"

She let out a heave, "No, little guy. It wasn't anything like that." Wendy bit her lip as she searched for the right words, "Danny, there doesn't have to be faults to be found for a relationship to fade. Sometimes, the people involved are too different for one another. It's not that they're bad or anything, but staying together while secretly hating their way of life is just as wrong."

"So," he tried to understand, "You _do_ regret our time together…"

She shook her head, "You were a great guy – _and probably still are_ – but look at it like this. You're a bit of a homebody, and to be honest, it's fine every once in a while, but it's just not for me. The same way that you tried to hang with all the crazy stuff I did with the guys, but secretly hated every second of it."

"How did you – "

Wendy narrowed her eyes, "Buddy, it didn't take a rocket scientist to see how uncomfortable you were. But do you see where I'm coming from with this?"

"I…think so…" He looked up, as Wendy's words resonated within. "It really wasn't because of me – or what happened with my mom?"

"Eh…" She wiggled her taped-down hand. "Not as much as you think…"

Wendy returned her sights to the rest of the mob, "And just so no one else feels left out…" She began to list off her remaining ex-boyfriends:

"Eli, you were a pretentious know it all back then, and today only proved that you still are. Maybe if you're able to pull the silver spoon out of your ass, you might find out that you can be pretty decent when you want to be…"

The preppy nerd rubbed his shoulder, almost like the rowdy redhead had somewhat slugged him one.

"Stoney, we kinda went through this earlier. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate all of the pointers and tips for hunting back in the day, but you definitely need to tone it down. There's not many ladies out there that'll enjoy watching you torture small animals for the hell of it – _or even worse, allow you to treat them as such._ And if you can't get that, then, man; I hope the next chick that comes into your life does more than break your nose…"

The injured hunter rubbed his nose, feeling a slight sting before resuming his crossed-armed pose, "Whatever, love…"

"And Robbie," Wendy noted her latest ex, "What can I say? Our relationship is pretty much an open book. Literally! I mean, you posted every possible detail on your online profile."

Turning red with embarrassment, the wannabe goth pulled his hoodie collar away from his neck as he let out a nervous chuckle.

Her expression changed to one of concern, "In fact. I'm not even sure why you're here in the first place. Aren't you supposed to be with Tambry right now?"

 _"Tamb-ry_?" Robbie sputtered the name in a perplexed pitch, almost like it was somewhat foreign to him, "What…"

"And the same goes for you, Nate. I thought you and I ended our relationship on good terms?"

"We did!" He responded in his normally, cheerful attitude. "I don't even remember why I'm here! It's like a little voice in my head is compelling me to do so…"

Wendy raised an eyebrow, "What did you say?"

Seeing that his once-mighty-army was now downtrodden and exploited, Zeke jumped back into the fray. He stormed up to Wendy's chair, placing his hands on the arms, and met her face-to-face.

 _"Insolent whore!"_ He screamed loudly, forcing Wendy to shut her eyes. She could feel the flying saliva land all over her face. _"Don't you dare sully their memories!"_

"Yeesh…" She groaned as the ringleader sulked away to safety. "Say it, don't spray it!"

Zeke lectured his troops, "Are you going to let her get away with this again? Don't be fooled by her words. They might sound from the heart, but trust me, friends, _they are anything but!_ _Be mad! Be angry! Be outraged!_ Never forget all of the anguish this one girl has brought you!"

Wendy watched as the outlook of the ex-boyfriends changed on a dime. They morphed from quiet and introverted to their original infuriated states. At long last, she understood what has been happening from the start.

 _"You're controlling them, aren't you? That's what's been going on, right?"_

Zeke's devilish grin instantly gave Wendy her answer. "Not controlling, per se. Let's say…I discovered a way to unlock all of the grief and sorrow that each one of these wretched souls have buried without layers of themselves…"

"Really?" Wendy mocked, never daring to back down from the threat, "Tell me, Zeke? Should we tell them _your story_?"

"What?!"

"I mean, we've already aired everyone else's dirty laundry – why should you feel left out? Why don't we tell these guys you're the reason I don't go upstate anymore!"

"Okay, fine!" Zeke grit his teeth. "You wanna play this game, I'm all for it!" He sauntered about the tied-up teen before turning his back, "But, I will be the one doing the story-telling." The blue-donned lumberjack looked over his shoulder at Wendy, "The last thing they need is to here another perverted tale of woe from you…"

Zeke returned towards the gang, using his thumb to point at Wendy behind him, "As Miss Wonderful stated, I'm not from Gravity Falls. I actually work at her cousin's logging camp in upstate Oregon, just like nearly everyone in my family. Heck, I've been helping out there before I can even remember…"

Once again, Zeke glanced at Wendy as he went on his story, "One day, I'm told by the boss man that we'll have an add-on for the summer – a family member from some piss-ant, white bread mountain town that needed to be shown the ropes. The last thing he mentioned was that I was to use kid's gloves when handling them – that something had happened recently with their mother – "

"Ooh…" A shared cry of sympathy went out within the ex-boyfriends as they murmured and gossiped.

"Wait, her mother?"

"Yeah, you never heard about Wendy's mom?"

 _"She passed on right after her youngest brother was born…"_

 _"Wait? I thought she went crazy and joined up with some cult or commune or something…"_

"Who cares?!" Zeke tried to get back on track, "The point is that the bitch ain't here anymore! Can we move on?!"

"Grr…" The captor twirled around to Wendy as her eyes grew dark, burrowing into his forehead.

"Oops!" Zeke made fun, holding a careful hand over his mouth. "Hit another nerve…" He motioned back and forth with a hand, "On second thought, didja ever think that she might have to do with how you ended up today?"

Wendy didn't answer, save for her face tightening even further.

"Just sayin…" Zeke went back to the other boys, "Imagine my surprise when the new recruit was this scrawny, yet towering redhead with her messy hair in pigtails, wearing a lame-o dress shirt, and tights. Definitely not the type for that kind of business. At first, she fought against anything shown to her – as stubborn and foolish as she is today."

His tone changed as he continued on, "But after a while, she started to come around. It went from a great effort to keep her at work, to not being able to get rid of her if I tried. She became my shadow; sticking to me like glue, and picking up on the smallest details. _I_ taught her something that I learned a long time ago: that our lumberjacking heritage didn't have to be the bore that our ancestors presented it as. I showed her how to _make it cool_ , and more importantly, _hers_ ; from how to twirl a hatchet on her fingertips to finally convincing her to ditch that awful barefoot and ballet slips combo…"

He chortled, "For some reason, this lanky, little thing chose a pair of waders that were three times too big, but again, her stubbornness… " Zeke took one last look at Wendy before he concluded his story, "And so, we went from two people who came from different worlds to having this little tag-along that I couldn't live without – "

"Whoa…" Robbie came to a realization. "Wendy, it's just like – _It's just like you and that little twerp…_ "

She sneered, "Believe me, Robbie, when I say _it's nothing like that…_ "

For some reason, Zeke found the comparison amusing, "Hmm…interesting…" His demeanor flipped within mere seconds, "…though I'll ask members of the peanut gallery not to interrupt again! Thank you…"

Robbie shrunk back at being chided.

"And just like with all of you – everything when from perfection to ruin as she broke her word to me – "

"Zeke, I didn't – "

"SHE BROKE HER WORD TO ME!" He re-illustrated, raising his voice to the point of near-yelling. "And left me behind – "

"I was just a kid – "

"Going on with her life like I never existed! It doesn't matter how big of a hole she left in my heart! Like always, Wendy Corduroy only cares about Wendy Cordu – "

"ENOUGH ALREADY!" At last, Wendy's anger had triumphed over her fear and cautiousness. "How much longer do I have to go along with this?!"

"You see?!" Zeke highlighted with his arm, "She only cares about her! That's it!"

"If you're going to tell the story, Zeke, at least tell _all of it!_ If anything, tell them why we don't talk anymore! Or how I fight tooth and nail to get out of being shipped back upstate!" The enraged lumberjane took a deep breath to calm herself, "Jeez, Zeke. I mean, you were the first guy I ever was able to connect to, and the last time we saw each other – _do you know how long it took me to be able to trust another person like that again?!"_

Zeke's face fell as a moment of clarity overcame him. For a moment, he was void of all malice and malevolence. "Gwendy…Gwendy, I – "

 _"It's all your fault…"_

Zeke twisted around to see that little Danny had stepped forward.

"What did you just say to me?!"

Danny turned to rally the rest of the exes, "Don't you guys get it? Sure, we all have all problems, but this guy – _he was Wendy's first love_ , and it sounds like he really did a number on her!" He pointed back at his former-leader with conviction, " _It's his fault Wendy is the way she is!"_

"Yeah!"

"That…makes a lot of sense…"

"Friggin' bully! I knew something was rotten with him all along!"

The ex-boyfriends rose up as a group and began to advance on Zeke. Wendy's mouth dropped at what was unfurling before her eyes. After everything that had happened today, were they really about to mount a rescue?

"C'mon, now…" Zeke held up his hands as he slowly backed towards the giant speaker system. "Let's think about this for a sec…"

Nate pumped his arms into the air in annoyance, "I still don't know why I'm here, but anyone that hurts Wendy deals with me!"

Robbie patted him on the back, "I can get behind that…"

Zeke was now pinned against his machinery, "Okay, guys. I can see where this is going, and I read you loud and clear. There's just…one little thing you all are forgetting about…" His hand moved towards the dial, "Not only do I own her…"

Before anyone could react, Zeke turned the dial to MAX.

 _"I own all of you as well!"_

A loud, screeching sound echoed through the empty lumbermill. Wendy shut her eyes and winched in pain, wishing that she could cover her ears as well. She forced herself to take a peek at the chaos, seeing that every one of her potential liberators was withering on the ground, sprawling around in total agony. They cried and recoiled with every note pumping through the enormous speakers.

Only Zeke remained on his feet, watching his henchmen suffer with a gleeful satisfaction on his face.

Wendy struggled to put out a sentence, "What…did you do to them?"

Zeke turned the knob back down, "Reminding them of why I'm the boss…" He walked back towards the table. "Luckily, those morons hadn't figured out why I was wearing earplugs the whole time…" He tapped the side of his left ear to demonstrate.

"But what – "

Zeke lifted an index finger, "Just watch…" His attention went back to his fallen soldiers. "You lot! On your feet! Pronto!"

As ordered, the boys staggered upwards, like zombies rising from their graves.

"Perhaps, I didn't make myself clear beforehand…" Zeke paced back and forth in front of them before coming to a complete stop. "But I make the decisions here! I tell you to jump, and you assholes ask me "how high, sir?" And if I say it's her fault, _it's definitely her fault!_ Do you understand me?"

All seven boys answered in unison, "Yes…"

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Good to hear!"

Wendy couldn't believe what she had witnessed, "You _are_ controlling them! By brainwashing?"

"Ooh…" Zeke said. "As funny as it sounds, I keep forgetting you're there. I guess I let the cat out of the bag and ruined my surprise for your – "

"Let me guess _– my special day?_ "

Zeke snapped his fingers and pointed, "Bingo! During our…um… _separation-period_ , I did years of research, finding out every bit of info that I could about your life here in Hicksville. Thank heavens for social media. And imagine my surprise when I discovered what kind of filth you decided to associate with…"

Wendy shrugged, "And your point being…?"

"The point is that all of these losers, Goth Boy in the back was the most interesting. The best part was all his claims about _some type of lame-o rock music that could hypnotize its listener with its lyrics_." Zeke mused, "I can only wonder where such an idiot got his grubby mitts on such a thing…"

Triggered, Robbie started to answer, "Actually, I found – "

"I wasn't asking! It was metaphorical!"

"Oh…" He returned to his forced silence.

"So that horrible sound…"

"Was the tune ironically called _"Wendy's song_ …" Zeke prided. "Cranked up to the highest decibel possible…"

Wendy didn't know what to think. After last summer, she had dismissed any claims of being mesmerized, chalking the whole experience to some sort of jealously/rivalry between Dipper and Robbie; boys being stupid boys. But after seeing the display before her, Wendy grasped that the threat was indeed, _very real._

"Once I perfected the same frequency," Zeke narrated further, "It didn't take long to find the rest of your former loves. Again, lady luck smiled down on me, as most of them are loons or loners. Either way, finding them one and one and exposing them to your song took more time than effort…"

"Is that "my gift"?" Wendy questioned. "Having this "mock trial" of yours?"

"Actually, no…" Zeke went on. "For the most interesting part of young Robert's story wasn't that he misused such blessings…" The crazed lumberjack paused, and then rushed towards Wendy. "It was the fact that _you're already infected with it!"_

Wendy gulped.

"That's right. Somewhere in that mind of yours is a partition of unset commands and orders just waiting to be activated…" He hurried away towards his equipment, returning an instance later with wireless headphones in his hands. "For that is my real gift to you, my dearest Gwendolyn: I am going to finish what he started. We're going to erase the biggest mistake of your life and make it so that you and I will always be together… _forever_. And everything that stands in our way – those awful memories and that horrible independent streak of yours will be wiped away!"

As Zeke approached her with headphones raised overhead, Wendy squirmed in her bindings. "You can't do this! Get – Get away!" She could make out the song playing within, _"When I think about you, I feel feelings so deep…"_

"No!" Wendy called out to the other exes, "Don't let him do this! Please!"

The music came closer, _"I'm tossing and turning, and you know I'm losing sleep…"_

"Stop!"

 _"And I know I'm going crazy, when I look into your eyes…"_

"No!" Wendy resisted as the headphones were placed on her head. Despite her thrashing about, they were set too firmly to toss off with her movements.

 _"Just listen to this song…"_

"Don't do this, Zeke! Don't…"

 _"And you'll be hynotai-ai-zed…"_

The voice on the recording drowned out as Wendy's brain felt as it were on fire. She closed her eyes in reflex, returning to a world that was misaligned and filled with day-glow colorings. The walls and floors seemed to melt and reform themselves at an insane rate. From outside the factory's high-hung windowing, the moon positioned into the night sky fell and was promptly replaced with the sun, bringing the promise of a new morning with it. A split-second later, it instantly set to the west, being replaced by the moon and a dark-blue atmosphere. The two settings flew back and forth at an alarming speed, as days, weeks, and months went on before Wendy's eyes in mere moments.

"W-What's going on…?" The confused girl spat out in her daze. "What are you doing to me?!"

From out of the blur, Zeke stepped forward with a disturbing smirk. A garbled voice rose up from the headphones, as the insidious boy mouthed along with the words:

 _"You are now under my control! Your mind is mine!"_

"NO!"

The more Wendy strained against the music, the more her senses grew enflamed. Her nostrils and ears felt like they were bleeding out. Her eyes burned like she had just finished an all-night B-horror movie marathon. Her tongue and lips had been turned bone dry.

 _"It hurts! Why does it hurt so much?!"_

One by one, the assembly of exes stood at Zeke's side, watching in silence as their hostage writhed in agony.

 _"Make it stop! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!"_

Wendy squeezed her eyes closed, only to have a voice call out.

"Is that the best you can do?"

 _"Huh?"_ She reopened her eyes, finding herself no longer at the mercy of her subjugators. Instead, Wendy was now standing on the race track just outside the Gravity Falls Middle School Gymnasium. Her flannel outfit had vanished, leaving her in a light T-shirt, thigh-high black shorts, and white sneakers.

A much younger, and yet, still-cocky Russ stepped into frame, "You heard me, Corduroy. You were dogging it that last quarter mile." He gave her a shove, "What good is all this training if you've got nothing to show for it?"

Wendy was taken aback by her current location, _"I remember this! But how?"_

Zeke's voice came out of the abyss of her mind, "Recall all of the pain you have caused. _See their miseries through new eyes!"_

The lumberjack princess tried to answer back, but found she was unable to. Her body refused to obey. The memory played out like a form of home video, never changing from its original form.

Wendy watched as she pushed Russ back and began to argue with him, "You've been messing with me all day, Russ, and I'm getting pretty tired of it!" Her sights changed to see a gathering of his varsity friends laughing and mocking the couple from the sidelines. "You're just acting like an ass to impress those jerks you hang around with!"

Russ crossed his bare arms against his chest, "At least they know how to win." He poked her sternum with an index finger, "So, what are you going to do about it?"

A smile spread across Wendy's face. "Alright. This is what we're going to do. Let's have a race around the track. No practice this time. Me versus you. If you win, we'll train until the cows come home. If I win, you shut your mouth with all this trash talk _– for good_!"

Russ looked at the group of teammates jeering him on before giving his answer.

"Deal…"

Wendy took her place at the starting line, and bent down in a runner's position. Russ followed suit afterwards. They shot each other a glare before setting their sights on the road ahead.

"Ready? Set? GO!"

Both teenagers took off like lightning. With her lungs burning, Wendy sped up past Russ; the cool afternoon air whooshed her massive red-haired ponytail backwards. She closed her eyes, knowing that victory was seconds away, when suddenly, her body became different. Something heavy pressed against her frame. She was unable to run any further, as her feet felt off.

Wendy's eyes sprang open as the wind seemed to fade away. She was no longer on the open track, but now standing in between rows of empty arcade cabinets. Wendy noticed her reflection in the monitor's screen. Her gym clothing had been replaced with a fancy green dress. Her auburn hair had been tied back with countless hairpins. A thin layer of makeup had covered her freckled face. Black high heels made their presence known as they noisily clacked on the tile floor.

Taking careful steps to avoid tumbling in her new footwear, Wendy went around the corner to find the object of her search.

"There you are!"

A few yards away, Psyche was playing an arcade game, using both joysticks at the same time. With his blue hair placed into a ponytail, his new attire consisted of a tuxedo-themed shirt, matching black jeans, and gym shoes.

Wendy stormed forward, "I didn't want to believe it, but – did you forget about me? About what day it is?"

Psyche paid his girlfriend very little heed, "Hey, baby. How's it hanging?"

 _"How's it hanging?"_ Wendy threw her arms downwards, "How's it look like it's going?! Look at me, Psyche! I did all of this for you! You promised that we could take a break from the gaming stuff and go to the Spring Dance together!"

He waved her away, "Yeah, yeah. I didn't forget…we can still go…"

"No, we can't, Psyche. It ended fifteen minutes ago! You were supposed to meet me there, remember! Instead, I had to limp around town in high heels trying to find you!"

Psyche's attention never waned from his current game, "Yeah…it was probably stupid anyways…"

Wendy finally saw red. She lifted a leg, and plucked a heel from her foot. With pin-point accuracy, she hurled the shoe straight at the machine's screen, watching it bounce off with a *THUD!* and forcing the addicted gamer away from the cabinet.

"HEY!"

A few bleeps and boops later, a "GAME OVER" message flashed across the monitor.

At long last, Psyche confronted Wendy, "Whatcha do that for? It took me three hours to reach that point!"

"I don't care!" Wendy launched back. "You said you were going to be at the school – dressed up, and a dumbass T-Shirt doesn't count – when you started your stupid game of yours!"

"It's not stupid! Just because you don't finish anything that you start – "

"That's not the point, _Edwin_!"

He raised his hands while looking around the Arcade, "Hey, hey. Watch the "E-word" around here…"

"The point is that you said we were going to spend time together! Even when we're here, we don't play together – you expect me to stand back and watch you for hours on end!" Infuriated, Wendy kicked off her remaining shoe and walked away comfortably in her bare feet. "You want to waste all your time here? Fine! But count me out!"

"It's not a waste – "

"WHATEVER!"

As Wendy went back down the path she came, she took one last look at her reflection, seeing that her makeup had started to become stained with tears. Wishing to hide from the sight, Wendy covered her eyes as she walked out of the Arcade.

The sounds of sobbing seemed to follow Wendy. It was an instance later that she realized that _the weeping was no longer hers._

She removed her hands from her face, noticing that the scenario had changed for a third time. Wendy was now in the backseat in an-all-too-familiar car.

"Hang on. Isn't this…"

She looked to her left to see that Danny was hysterical in the seat next to her. With his palms against his head, countless streams of tears traveled down his cheeks and onto the car seats. Wendy watched as her arm reached out for the heartbroken boy, only to stop before she made contact. The damage had been done, and there was little left to say in the matter.

Wendy sighed, and looked up, seeing the slighted eyes of Danny's overprotective mother staring at her from the rearview mirror. She could make out the elder whispering under her breath, _"I knew it. Definitely too young for her…"_ The body language of the woman made Wendy think of Mrs. Pines.

Trapped until they reached their destination, Wendy anxiously threw her arms behind her, and sat back in her seat. She closed her eyes, praying that the everlasting car ride would end shortly, and recalling it as the reason she opted to bike to future gatherings.

"There we are. Try to get out now…"

A new voice broke Wendy out of her self-induced darkness. She was now in the middle of the Gravity Falls Woods. She went to take a step forward, only to be stopped. Her arms had been secured to a tree behind her. Wendy felt about with her fingertips, realizing that she had been locked in handcuffs.

"BOO!"

Abruptly, Stoney came out of the ether, startling her into a shriek. As he laughed, Wendy tested her bonds again, What – What is this? Let me outta these things!"

"Not yet," he wagged his finger at her. "You said you wanted to understand why I do the things I do. After this, I know you'll be able to get the big picture…"

"C'mon, Stoney!" Wendy whined. "All I said was that I thought you were too rough with that little critter." She shifted her manacles for a third time, "I think the cuffs are cutting off my circulation…"

"You know," he ignored her, going on with his ideologies, "A captured animal can reach incredible levels of desperation when it finds itself stuck. Some even go as far as to chew off their own limbs to escape…"

With that, Stoney took the key to Wendy's shackles out from his vest, flashed it teasingly in front of her face, and placed it on the forest floor inches away from her booted feet. His role finished, the hunter headed towards the exit of the clearing.

"Wait! Where are you going?!"

"I'm heading home. Don't worry, I'll be back in a few hours to check on you…"

"A few hours?!" Wendy pulled against her chains; her shoulders were almost to the point of popping, "Stoney, you can't leave me here like this!"

"I can, and I will…" He waved as he disappeared from the scene. "Good luck, darling. You'll need it…"

"Stoney? Stoney!" Wendy called after him. "Stoney, I have to get home before dark, or my dad's going to be pissed!"

With no reply from her current beau, Wendy sunk down the dirt-covered ground. Her eyes focused on the small glint – her only way to freedom – inches away from her reach. She raised her sights to the dusk-layered sky, and closed her eyes, wondering how she was going to escape this mess.

"It's nothing personal, Wendy…"

How can you say that?!"

With another blackout came yet another memory. Wendy was sitting alongside Eli and some of his snobby friends outside of the Gravity Falls Middle School. They had been talking about their plans for the evening when Eli made a sudden announcement.

"Try to be rational, Red…"

"Dude," she threw her arms open, "You wait until the night of to tell me you're cancelling on me?! I thought we were looking towards this concert all week!"

An ashamed expression came over him, "Well, I – "

"Just tell her the truth, old boy…"

Wendy twirled towards the tone, finding it came from within Eli's group. She decided to call them out, "What are you talking about? The truth about what?"

"Well," An over-dressed girl answered. "Isn't it obvious? We're still going – _but you're not…_ "

Her boyfriend next to her finished her thought, "It's just how society works. Sometimes, certain people from one side of town simply doesn't belong with those from the other side. Isn't that right, Eli?"

"I – "

Wendy turned back towards Eli, "You really don't believe this, do you? Tell me this ain't so!"

Eli finally spoke up, "I believe you mean "isn't…"

"That's it?! You stab me in the back, and the only thing you can do is correct my grammar?!" Without saying another word, Wendy stormed off towards home.

"Wendy? Where are you going?!"

"What do you care? You have your yuppie buddies to keep you company!"

The upper classed boy and girl were insulted by her comment.

"Well, I never!"

"How dare you, bumpkin!"

Not swaying from her path, Wendy extended her middle finger and yelled over her shoulder, "Blow me!"

She blindly strolled into the Gravity Falls Woods, finding herself lost for a brief moment. She blinked and looked for any signs for the shortcut back home.

"Did you talk to him?"

Wendy's field of vision rotated one-hundred-eighty degrees. From there, she spotted Zeke coming out from behind a series of redwoods foreign to her hometown. She noticed that he looked different – as she would have liked to remember him in the back of her mind – before his change.

 _"And now, your greatest sin!"_

Zeke repeated himself, "Did you talk to him?"

"Yeah," Wendy rubbed her shoulder.

"And what did he say?"

"He said…" Wendy took a deep breath and exhaled. "He said "no way…""

"WHAT?!" Zeke clinched his fists, "Even after everything I've shown you?! Doesn't he know how much you've changed for the better?"

"Dad really does appreciate it, Zeke." Wendy stepped forward and took his hand, "And you know I do, too. You made this summer awesome. I couldn't even begin to thank you for everything. But they – they need me back home. Especially after with Mom being gone – there was no chance he was going to let me stay here with you."

"I can't believe it – "

She squeezed his hand, "I know, Zeke. But…it isn't like the world's ending or anything, right? Wait until next summer comes, and I'll come back. I swear it. And we'll be able to pick up exactly where we left off…"

"No…"

His answer stunned Wendy, "What did you say?"

Zeke raised his head, and pulled his hand out of Wendy's hold, "I said, I can't believe you!"

There was a new look in Zeke's red eyes – something vicious and almost primal in it. Wendy started to back away in fright, "Zeke…"

He started towards her with incredible speed, "Do you honestly expect me to believe you gave it your all when trying to convince that drunkard?"

Wendy held up her hands in self-defense, "I did everything I could, Zeke! What else did you expect me to do?!"

*SMACK!*

She had never seen the blow coming. His hand zoomed across the open air, striking her on the spotted cheek, knocking her to the cold ground. Wendy's green eyes swelled with tears as she gazed up at her attacker.

"…Zeke…?" Wendy had never seen this side of him before.

He bent down to her level and gritted his teeth, "I _expected_ you to do whatever it took to get the job done. No excuses!"

"It's - *SNIFF!* - It's not that simple! Real life isn't always like lumberjacking." She pressed up against the ground to stand back up, "There are things that we can't control and – "

Before she could make it back to her feet, Zeke delivered a swift kick to her bread basket, sending Wendy back to the damp earth.

"Ugh!"

"Let's get one thing straight between us, kid!" The mentor-turned-menace made clear, " _I_ make the rules in this relationship! What _I_ say goes – I don't care what your father or your cousin think! And when I tell you to do something, Gwendolyn, you-will-frigging-do-it!"

"Zeke…" Wendy clutched her injured stomach, "You can't – "

"Oh, but I can. Remember this, Gwendy: you're my girl, and will always be " _my girl."_ We complete each other, like two pieces of the same puzzle. _And like the puzzle piece you are, you will conform and bend to meet my missing needs! You'll get up when I say it's time to get up! And when I tell you to get your ass back on the phone and tell your father you're staying here, you'll do it! Got it?!"_

"I – I..." Wendy coughed, "I can't – it's too late…"

"What do you mean?!"

"He's - *COUGH!* He's already here…"

"What?!" The abusive young man failed to notice the looming shadow growing from behind. He rotated around to find himself face-to-face with Manly Dan Corduroy. Before Zeke had a chance to flee, the stout father grabbed him by the throat, lifting him off the ground.

"Ack! Ack!"

*POUND!* *POUND!*

After delivering two massive blows to the abdomen, Dan hurled the boy face first into a nearby tree, watching it splinter into pieces as the teenage boy collided with it.

*CRASH!*

With the threat subdued, Manly Dan walked towards his fallen daughter and offered an open hand. It was a genuine kind of kindness – something that Wendy seldom saw from her parent, as he usually preferred using "tough love."

Wendy placed both hands in Dan's mighty palm. It was a perfect distraction for Zeke to make a getaway. As the sounds of the forest alerted the Corduroys of his movements, the spurned lumberboy made a solemn vow:

 _"This isn't over with! I'll find you again, Gwendolyn, my lumberjack queen! No matter how long it takes, I swear I'll find you!"_

An awkward silence overtook father and daughter as Wendy made it back to her feet. They walked side by side towards the forest's entrance.

"Why didn't you cream that guy?"

Dan's sudden question caught Wendy off-guard, "Huh?"

"I'm asking why you didn't go after him instead of letting him do that to you…?"

Wendy lowered her head. She knew that a speech about "Corduroy toughness and strength" was incoming.

Instead, Dan went towards a different route, "You learned a horrible truth about the world today, Wendy – _that the majority of men out there are pigs_. And I'm – or your brothers – are not always going to be there to help. _That's why when a man does you wrong, you can't be afraid to strike them back!"_

Another brief hush surrounded the duo until Wendy broke though.

"I'll – I'll remember that, Dad…"

The giant overlooked his pride and joy, examining her fully for the first time in the three months she had been away.

"Hmm…" he grunted. "Green flannel looks good on you…"

Wendy wrapped her arms around her father's right bicep as she went forth in tandem.

"Thanks, Dad…"

A bright light whisked Wendy away from the traumatic recollection. The world around her flashed about in several different colors, each as overwhelming to the senses as the last. Finally, a lone silhouette appeared within the sparks, growing in form and shape, as one last voice called out to her.

 _"Wendy…"_

She flicked her eyelids, finding that where Zeke once stood, Dipper Pines had replaced him. Her partner in crime reached out towards her with both hands, as if he was trying to call her home.

 _"Wendy…"_


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry for the wait, guys. These chapters took me a bit longer to write than I expected. Hopefully, they're worth the wait, and I'll see you next time for the finale! Thanks again!_

* * *

 _"Dipper?"_

Wendy didn't know if her eyes were deceiving her. The menacing form of her first – and worst ex-boyfriend melted away, leaving behind the concerned face of her once-secret admirer. He reached out towards her with both hands, as if he was trying to pull her towards reality. "Wendy? Wendy?!"

 _"Dipper, I can't move my hands! I can't – WHHHOOOOOAAAAAH!"_

The day-glow atmosphere began to swallow her back up. Wendy could feel herself slipping away again. The world around her started to warp and make high-pitched screeches. The universe came to a halt, and Wendy found herself starting back in front of Dipper outside of the Mystery Shack. Watching history play out beyond her control, a pair of keys landed into the boy's open palms. He looked up with gratitude and gave that toothy grin that she secretly found adorable.

"Try not to hit any pedestrians…"

Her waving hand towards Dipper speeding away towards the Gravity Falls Forest in a Mystery Cart froze in mid-air. She blinked and found herself on the Mystery Shack's roof with the Pines twins.

"Don't leave me hangin'…"

After a second of anxious hesitation, Dipper stepped up on tip-toes and slapped his hand against hers. Again, the teenager recalled that it had been one of the few times she'd seen the all-too-serious kid actually smile.

As her friends arrived to pick her from work, Wendy turned towards her new co-workers, _"_ Hey, you guys aren't going to tell Stan about this, are you?"

Dipper pinched his index fingers together and made a zipping motion over his lips, swearing him to secrecy. She followed along and mimicked the movement; _it had been the first the two were bonded by the symbol, and yet, it was far from the last._

"Later, dorks!"

The twins waved good-bye as Wendy slid down the closest redwoods to return to solid ground. She closed her eyes to avoid getting poked by a pine needle. When the lumberjane re-opened them, she was waiting in line for the bathroom in the hallway of the Mystery Shack. The clumps of green Wendy held in her grasp seconds before was replaced with a cheap plastic red cup. She turned left to see Dipper staring up at her with the same type of drink in his hand. His dark brown bangs had been pushed aside, revealing his "Big Dipper" birthmark on his forehead.

"Hey, I guess we're both freaks…"

They clunked their glasses together and laughed.

 _"Why am I seeing all this?"_ Wendy asked while trapped within the confines of her own mind. _"I mean, I get the flashbacks with the rest of the guys, but what does Dipper have to do with this?"_

The giggles drowned out and were swiftly replaced by the sounds of beeps and boops. The crunched cup in Wendy's hand stretched out, becoming a knobbed joystick. The mixture of Dipper's and her grunts and battle cries filled the digital chatter all about them.

 _"We're at the Arcade now?"_

The pair strained their eyes and twisted their bodies as they attempted to out-do one another, wailing about on their paddles and buttons without mercy.

Oh, oh, oh! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Go! Go!

After several seconds of vicious battle, a winner was decided.

"What?!" Wendy threw her hands down on the cabinet in defeat. "You cheated!"

"YOU TAKE THAT BAAACK!"

Wendy watched as her former self and Dipper chortled loudly as they battled on – _a brief moment of peaceful play before the digital nightmare broke out weeks later._

 _"But, these are different kinds of memories, right?"_ Wendy asked the mysterious force guiding her. _"For the most part, Dip and I had great times together…"_

Her eyes were blocked by a sort of steam. Wendy was now all alone in a dark and damp underground cave. The only thing she had to guide her way was the distant sound of someone crying. She automatically followed along, ending up in a barely-lit passage.

 _"Oh…that…"_

Dipper was on his knees, bent over what he believed to be her lifeless body. Upon looking at her injured state, he covered his face as he continued to weep.

"This is all my fault! If I had told you when we were in the closet, we wouldn't be in this mess…"

Wendy wanted to break free of this set path; to comfort the near-hysterical pre-teen, but the forces that be refused to release her if even for an instance.

"But I was too scared and now you could be hurt or worse, and I never even got to tell you _I'm like, in love with you, Wendy!"_

"Uh, Dipper?"

The whole world disappeared within a puff of white smoke. The vision of love confessions past prompted Wendy to question herself, _"What happened with the guys – is that why I treat Dipper so differently – for better or worse?"_

The pasty puffs zoomed out towards the sky, as the blackness around Wendy. Bright blue flowed in place of it, as the sun came over to provide some much needed light.

Wendy was now lying comfortably on the small knell in the Gravity Falls Graveyard alongside all of her friends. As they commented on the clouds passing by, she held Tambry's smartphone as an online video of the Love God played on.

"Whoa! Like a real _concert_ concert?" Embarrassed, Dipper rubbed his elbow, "I've never actually been to one of those before…"

"That's because you've never had an awesome crew to roll with before!" The redhead pointed directly at Dipper, "When you're with us, you're in!"

The fond memory faded away as the sun went to set in the west, blanketing her in darkness.

 _"Yeah! Like that! I mean, I know it wasn't always perfect…"_ Wendy knew that it took a special kind of balance to do as such: just enough to keep Dipper from retreating back into his shell, but without giving him the wrong idea or intention.

"Wendy!"

A small figure dashed towards her and wrapped its hands around her backside. Wendy was caught off-guard for the second time as Dipper lowered his weary head against her navel. "I'm so glad to find you! I thought everyone I knew was gone!"

Wendy saw that she had been warped back to the trashed Gravity Falls Mall Food Court during the Weirdmageddon outbreak, complete in tattered war clothing and all. "Hey, hey, it's okay…" She bent down to his level and placed her hands on his shoulders as the image grew fainter. _"We have each other now…."_

 _"…maybe I could have done a little more…"_ Wendy couldn't remember why she didn't hug Dipper back when he needed it the most – or considering that he was her first real human contact in nearly 72 hours ago, save for the determined Toby Determined that she constantly had to keep in check.

A half-fallen sun provided an ominous glow overhead. Wendy was still on one-knee, facing a very nervous Dipper, who was surprised to see his much-taller crush at eye-level.

"Hey…"Wendy made a fist and brought it up towards Dipper as his brown eyes softened. "You mean a lot to me, man…"

The shock faded from Dipper's face as he brought his hand up to meet hers.

"You, too…"

As their last shared recollection In Gravity Falls was washed from sight, Wendy was once again surrounded by a swirling of extra-bright flashes and strobes. And yet, the flashbacks had left their mark.

 _"Alright, I definitely could have done more…"_ Despite the limits she had set, some part of Wendy had wondered if giving Dipper a small peck on the cheek good-bye would have been over-the-top, in comparison to her last-minute, hat-swap motion. But now, after seeing the scene replay itself, the ginger found herself second-guessing her decision.

 _"…but with everything said and done, I did try to do right by him."_ A sense of sadness overcame her. _"I really did…"_

"I'm sorry…"

 _"Huh?!"_ Wendy spun around in her multi-colored chamber for the sound of the voice. " _Who's there?"_

Instantly, the world exploded in a white bang. When her eyes focused, Wendy spotted Dipper gazing back at her with a relieved expression on his face. The headphones had Zeke had placed on her head were now in her friend's hands.

 _"Dipper! It's you! It's really you!"_

He set the headphones on the ground and padded around the numerous pockets of his heavy jacket. After a few tries, Dipper found his pocket knife and started to slice through her restraints. Wendy instantly felt relief against her sore wrists and ankles.

"I'll…have you free… in a second…"

As the world around Dipper became clearer, Wendy became alarmed. The gang of her ex-boyfriends stood yards away in the distance, blocking the only exit of the lumbermill. Even worse, Zeke stood in wait, leaning back against his audio equipment, watching the duo's every move.

 _"Oh no!"_ Wendy tried to warn Dipper of the danger, _"Listen to me, Dip! You need to go, now! These guys aren't messing around! They'll hurt you, and – "_

Wendy noticed something was off: she was talking, and yet, her lips didn't move. Growing anxious, she tried to move her freed arms and legs, noting that either set obeyed her commands.

 _"What's going on? Why can't I move my body?!"_

The scared teenager tested every extremity she could think of, from her index fingers to her pinkie toes, finding them all beyond her control. She couldn't even blink on command. The only think that functioned was her rhythmic breathing, and even that appeared to be automated.

"Wendy…" Dipper peeked up at Wendy and rubbed her knee. "Wendy, wake up… _please_ …" To her, his touch was nothing more than a gentle numbing.

 _"Dipper!"_ Wendy wanted to scream aloud, but she was locked away in silence within her own body. _"Something's wrong! Something's seriously wrong here! I don't – "_ She spotted the wireless headphones on the ground next to her boy. "Wait a sec – " Wendy started to remember Zeke's threats before she entered her daze.

"Wendy!"

Her body followed the sound of Zeke's voice, her head turning on its own towards its new master.

 _"Whoa!"_ The cashier found the sensation to be creepy. _"What in the world was that?"_

Dipper seemed confused as well, as he turned to see what Zeke had done to his favorite redhead.

The ringleader highlighted his newest foe, "Wendy… _beat him within an inch of his life!"_

 _"What?!"_

*POW!*

Before she knew it, Wendy's fist had risen up from its resting spot on the wooden chair and struck Dipper in the face.

 _"No!"_

He tumbled across the floor multiple times before coming to a slumped stop.

 _"No!"_ Wendy screamed from within her prison _. "What did I do? What did I just do?!"_

The fallen detective forced himself up as his lip throbbed. Dipper used his finger to examine the damage – the tip was covered with blood.

He looked up at her like she had betrayed him in the worst possible way. "Wendy?"

 _"Dipper! It's not me! It's not – H-H-Hey!"_

Before Wendy knew what was happening, her legs crouched down into her seat. She sprang from it in a gigantic bound and towards the horrified thirteen-year-old. As Wendy flew through the air, a mighty Amazonian battle cry rose from her lungs before she came crashing down fist-first.

*SMASH!*

Wendy observed as Dipper used his hands to backpedal away to safety. Her blow had left behind a near-shattered tile panel in the flooring.

 _"I – I didn't feel a thing. How didn't I mess up my hand?"_

As her body involuntarily went after its assigned target, Wendy looked on as Dipper attempted to reason with her.

"Wendy, stop!" Dipper beseeched, barely making it back to his knees. "Don't listen to him! Don't listen –"

She noticed that her arm was hunched back. It drew forward with incredible speed, striking Dipper with a backhand across his cheek.

*SMACK!*

Dipper pulled his head back and rubbed his injury. Wendy could see him biting down to halt the upcoming tears. "Wendy – that really hurt…"

 _"Dip. I'm so sorry! I didn't mean - I can't help it! I don't how to – "_

A level of guilt built up within Wendy. The blow reminded her of the fateful confrontation with Zeke before she was rescued by her father.

Before her apology even ended, the high-schooler was helpless to prevent her hands from rising up on their own. They launched a severe barrage against Dipper, forcing the heartbroken child to take shelter under his noodle arms from her blur-like punches and slaps.

 _"Urgh!"_ Wendy tensed her psyche in an attempt to regain control of her body. Her brain felt like it was on fire. _"There has to be some way to get out of this. There just has to!"_

Suddenly, Dipper reached up and grabbed her wrist. He pulled on it as he tried making it back to his feet. "Please – Wendy! You don't know what you're doing!"

 _"I know! I know! I don't know how to make it stop!"_

Her hands moved on top of his left, pressing down with intense pressure until it popped loudly.

I – AAAHHH!"

*KRAK!*

 _"Dipper!"_

The damaged sleuth pulled his hand out of Wendy's range. He tried all his fingers to make sure they still worked properly. As Dipper looked up, Wendy grabbed him by his shoulders and tossed him over her waist in a karate-like fashion.

"WHOOOOAAAAA!"

*THWACK!*

 _"Sorry! Sorry!"_ Wendy winced as she heard Dipper's head smack against the cold, hard flooring. As he closed his eyes and struggled to catch his breath, her feet moved of their own accord.

 _"Not again! What's happening now?!"_

Wendy saw that she had stopped just before Dipper's face. Her leg was hoisted into the air, pausing for a brief moment as Dipper re-opened his eyes.

 _"Hurry, Dipper!"_ Wendy shouted within her confinement, despite him not being able to hear her warnings. _"Oh, hurry! Watch out!"_

"ACK!"

*CRASH!*

Dipper rolled out of the way of her boot as it came stomping down. A snarl was let past Wendy's lips, making her question, _"Did that come outta me?"_

He backed away from his not-so-secret love, "Can't – Can't we just talk about this for a sec – what?!" Dipper was pulled upwards by Russ. His mouth dropped as he saw the evil ex glaring down at him.

"Where do you think you're going, pal? You're not getting away that easy!" The oversized joke gave him a hard shove back towards Wendy.

"Yeah, man!" Stoney chimed in from Russ's right. "Let's see where your big mouth got ya, eh?"

"You're telling me, guys…" Robbie twisted his hands sinisterly, "Watching this is like having Christmas and my birthday on the same day!"

"Betcha five bucks she kills him in the next two minutes…"

"Hell, I say she'll do it with the next punch!"

"You're on!"

 _"This is crazy!"_ Wendy couldn't believe her ears. _"They actually want me to kill Dipper!"_

The evil exes had formed a tight-knit circle around the duo, watching them bob and weave at each other's movement. The young men cheered and hollered for the programmed lumberjack princess as she attempted to dismantle her youngest aficionado piece by piece.

Despite her wishes, Wendy's body went on with its pre-determined regiment. She stepped forward Dipper, and placed her hands together. Her knuckles crackled loudly; the sound echoing through the hollow building.

 _"Oh, boy. That can't be good…"_ She prayed that her buddy would be able to get through this unscathed.

Fortunately, Dipper was prepared. Wendy lounged forward to deliver a hard-thrown haymaker, only to find him duck beneath her at the last possible moment.

 _"Yes! Go, Dip!"_ Wendy silently cheered from within her void. Seeing a possible escape, Dipper went to sprint pass the looming figure towards the other side of the circle. _"That a-boy, Dipper! That's showing me who's boss!"_

Her lanky form moved like lightning, plucking the little adventurer off the ground before he could make a clear getaway. Wendy grabbed Dipper by the neck and the back of his snow pants and carried him forward.

 _"Wait! Hang on! Where are we going now?"_

Dipper seemed to share the same mindset, ""W-Wait? Wendy, what are you going to do?"

She paused in front of one of the banquet tables Zeke had set up earlier. Robbie slapped Nate's chest as a wicked grin formed, "Oh, watch this! It's gonna be awesome!"

Without a second of indecision, Dipper was dropped face down onto the table, making him cry out in pain. He raised his head to see a collection of glasses, silverware, and plates in front of him. As Wendy clutched him again, it was obvious what was coming next. He shrieked as he started to move again, "Oh, no! Wendy! Wendy! Wait a sec! Don't – AAH!"

 _"Oh, shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!"_

Dipper used his noodle arms to protect his face as Wendy hauled his body across the whole table, knocking its items all over the floor.

"Ohh!" The communal moaned in conjunction.

"Brutal!"

"That might be the greatest thing I've ever seen!"

"Hey, I was going to eat that!"

Exhausted from his journey, Dipper fell from his resting place at the end of the table. He flipped upon his back, letting out another pained sigh.

 _"No more! No more!"_ Wendy pleaded, hoping someone could hear her. _"He's had enough!"_

Wendy could see Zeke coming back into frame. Without saying a word, he gave her a thumbs-up, and swiftly switched it downwards. With that, she launched a foot deep into Dipper's bread basket. He squirmed and struggled to slip away, as the boot pressed even harder to hold him in place.

"W- W-Wendy…" Dipper gasped at he reached out for her. His face was turning blue. Wendy knew that if _she didn't stop now, he was going to die._

 _"Beautiful, isn't she?"_

Dipper turned his head towards Zeke as he commented from the sideways, " _Beneath all those layers, this is Wendy's true self: aggressive, hostile, and even somewhat feral in nature. The restraints of humanity have been stripped away from her, leaving her in her purest form – completely wild and untamed like the animal she really is deep down…"_

 _"Just you wait, you jag-off!"_ Wendy vowed. _"When I get out of this, I'll be more than happy to show you a wild animal!"_

Zeke walked into her view, as he stood over the fallen hero. "Now, tell me, Dipper. After everything you have been through, what do you think of "your Wendy" now?"

To Wendy's astonishment, Dipper continued to push on, gripping against her ankle, "It – doesn't – make – any –difference!"

"What?!"

"You're – You're making her do this! This isn't really her! I don't care what you say! Wendy isn't really like this! She's not a monster! _She's not a monster like you!"_

"A monster, am I?" Zeke's face became a bright red. Wendy knew better than anyone what this meant. The raging lumberjack pointed down at Dipper, "Wendy, I changed my mind. Crush his windpipe – RIGHT NOW! I want him to experience a slow and agonizing death!"

 _"NOOOOO!"_

Unable to control herself, Wendy put more weight down on her leg, making Dipper whimper even louder.

"AGH!"

He reached up her thigh to force some of the stress from his pudgy body. He raised his sights towards his empty-eyed sweetheart. The color of life was being drained from him.

 _"Zeke, please! Make it stop! Make me stop! I swear – I swear I'll do whatever you want, just please, make me stop!"_

In spite of this, Dipper still offered her a warming beam, "Wendy – I know – you're trying – it's – not your – fault…"

 _"Oh, Dipper…"_ Wendy started to break down within her captivity. " _I don't know what to do! I'm going to end up killing you, and I don't know what to do!"_

She felt utterly useless. Her mind went back to the final battle of Weirdmaggedon, where the mischievous triangle demigod Bill Cipher had transformed her into a living piece of tapestry. Wendy could to do nothing but watch as the Pines twins fled for their lives from one of his lethal mutation. It was such a traumatic scene, that _Wendy still had nightmares about it – a secret that she had never told anyone about._

But this was the farthest thing from a dream. Her green eyes became hot and wet at the thought of losing Dipper. Every doubt had that recently crossed her mind was added to her conscience – she regretted the missed texts, the unnecessary phone calls, the much-needed hugs, and the should-have-been kisses good-bye, wishing to trade anything to make such things possible again.

" _Wait_ ," Wendy realized. _"I'm crying? I'm actually crying!"_ The teen rejoiced in having some control returned back to her being.

Dipper was able to see the change as well. "I – I knew it!" He choked out. _"You're there! You're still in there somewhere!"_ He placed his hands below her knee, "You can do it, Wendy! Fight him! You can beat him! I know you can!"

"Dream on, loser!" Zeke ridiculed. "I gave her double the dose that I did with those guys – and they follow my every word. She has no chance of breaking through!"

 _"I'm…not…done…yet….!"_

As Wendy's foot squished harder, Dipper was forced to grip behind her knee. "Don't listen to him, Wendy! Since when have you let any creep-o-zoid tell you what to do with you with your life?"

 _"N-Never!"_

All of a sudden, feeling returned to Wendy's lips. They began to curl as she could make out Dipper's fingertips exploring the inside of her knee. An onslaught of laughter erupted from within.

"AHAHAHAHA!"

 _"What was that? I'm laughing now? But how?"_

The iron-clad press on Dipper's chest lightened as Wendy's legs turned to rubber. It gave way, as Dipper tightened his grip on her kneecap. This made Wendy cackle even harder as she wiggled around.

 _"What is going on? How's he doing that?"_

"W-HHHOOOAAA!"

 _"Look out, Dipper! I'm going down!"_

*CRASH!*

Wendy had fallen on her knees, trapping Dipper between her legs. Dipper opened his mouth and tried to take a much-needed breath, only to have it taken back by thick red hair falling to earth. The girl was no longer able to make out her partner in crime from beneath her auburn locks.

 _"Ah, jeez! Please don't tell me he's suffocating in there somewhere…"_

She could hear Dipper retch. Wendy spotted eight fingers shifting through her hair. Dipper waded through the forest of copper-colored tresses, setting them past her neck and over her shoulders. The more space he cleared, the more Wendy writhed at his slightest touch.

"TEEHEETEEHEE!"

Dipper's eyes grew wide as his main squeeze reacted every time his fingertips made contact with her neck. More giggles were released beyond Wendy's partial smile.

" _So, my neck, too? I don't get it."_ Wendy thought about what was happening. _"How does that make my body go gaga like that?"_ She searched through past memories, where the only thing that even came close was _last Christmas in Piedmont – where she and the Pines twins would have wrestling matches, and their only salvation came when they would gang up on her and cruelly – "_

Wendy was left dumbfounded by the answer. _"You've got to be kidding me…"_

Dipper seemed to catch up as well. He reached towards her sides and rang his hands up and down her ribs like a xylophone.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

 _"Keep going, Dipper! Keep tickling me!"_ She paused for a moment, noting the irony of saying such a dreadful thing aloud. As Dipper's fingers went deeper into Wendy's love-handles, her body started to react to the playful torture, breaking away from the almost-motorized categorization it had been placed into.

Her eyes shut tight as she threw her head back with deep laughter. Wendy could sense the feeling returning to her fingers and toes. Her nose twitched in adorable reflex.

 _"More!"_ Wendy demanded, as with more functions returning, so did the awkwardness of her request. _"More tickles! Hurry!"_

From out of the blue, Wendy could feel what little control she had slipping. Her body had taken over, pulling Dipper's wrists away from her tickle spots and pinning them down on the ground. She lowered herself on top of the much smaller Dipper, stopping inches away from his face. An inhuman growl rose up from her lungs, making the frightened boy flinch.

 _"No!"_ Wendy cursed. _"Dammit! We were so close!"_ She could do nothing as Dipper tried to slip out of her clasp with no prevail.

 _"Come on, Dipper! Don't give up on me yet! Fight!"_

To her surprise, Dipper stopped fidgeting. He faced the danger before him, as his breath grew shallow and more rapid.

 _"What's he doing now?"_

He closed his eyes and mumbled, "Wendy, please don't be mad at me for this…"

 _"Mad at you for what – "_

Without warning, Dipper bolted up and kissed her on the lips. Wendy's blood turned to ice. This was the very last thing that she expected him to. As the symbol of his love went on, she could feel the chill melt away. Her body became extremely hot; to the point of near-fever. From head to toe, the numbing sensation had completely vanished from Wendy's being.

As her first act of restored bodily freedom, she pressed back against Dipper's mouth. Wendy didn't understand the science behind what had just happened. To her, the insanity that had occurred, and the methodology that released her from it, was like something out of a modern-day fairy tale.

Wendy pulled back from the kiss and blinked; a thought played into her brain that she wouldn't dare air to the outside world:

 _"Hmm…not too shabby, kiddo…"_

Seeing that Wendy was truly awake, Dipper gasped and yanked himself back towards the floor. He let out a heave, only to have that relief quickly filled with terror. The skinny lumberjane gradually used her hands to lift herself off of her friend. Her jaw snapped like a rusty door as she finally spoke in a scratchy voice, "You…"

"Wendy!" His brow rose as he tried to apologize, "I'm sorry! I couldn't think – I didn't know what else -"

"You…"

Her tone became angry, making Dipper even more fearful of crossing that invisible line between them.

"Wendy…?"

The enraged female spun about, making it that everyone else in the lumbermill could make out her set teeth, _"You...guys….are….soooooo….dead!"_

She extended an open palm towards Dipper. He grinned happily, as _his Wendy_ hoisted him upwards.

"What kept you?"

"Heh. I was about to ask you the same thing."

"Eh…" Wendy shifted her shoulders, "You can say I was lost in my own mind…"

Seeing as they were still encircled by Zeke's mesmerized gang, Wendy and Dipper stood at each other's back, ready to fend off any incoming threat.

"What are you fools waiting for?" Zeke bellowed. "GET THEM!"

As the legion closed in, the chances of survivals began to weigh on Dipper, "Um…not to be a downer or anything, but the odds are kinda against us…"

Wendy socked her open hand in aggravation, "Man! I wish we could get, like, one of those "last-minute saves" you see in the movies."

"You mean a "deus-ex-machina?""

"Yep. That thing would certainly come in handy right about now…"

*SLAM!*

The entrance to the lumbermill was thrown open, making every soul in the building stop in place. A single traveler dressed in shadow walked into the complex.

"No..way…"

"How in the world…?"

Dipper and Wendy gazed with amazement as Tambry stormed down the main aisle towards them. Confused by the new stranger's sudden appearance, Zeke broke away to address her, "Excuse me, miss, but this is – "

"Cram it, blue boy" The pink-haired hipster stuck her hand in his face, "This doesn't concern you!" She stopped in front of Robbie and jabbed him with her finger, "Where in the hell have you been? You better not say you were gonna ditch me tonight!"

"T-T-Tambry?" The confrontation with his steamed girlfriend had weakened Zeke's hold on him. "Who - ?"

"Who?" She answered. "You mean, the girl you promised to watch the meteor showers with? That's who!" Tambry took her cell phone out, "I'm just lucky I can track you with your phone's GPS feature!"

Wendy went to elaborate, "Tambry, you don't – "

"Don't know – don't care." Tambry swiped away. "I'm not waiting another four years to see this thing." Tambry pinched Robbie by the shoulder and pulled him closer. "We're leaving…NOW!"

As Tambry went to leave, she spotted Nate tittering at their misfortune from behind his hand. With her wrath growing, she snagged him by the bottom of his ear.

"BAH!"

"And you, too, idiot! I'm not sure what you're doing here, either, but it's probably anything but good!"

"But, Tambers – OWWW!"

Tambry returned down where she entered the factory, dragging along both Robbie and Nate towards their delayed destination, in spite of their individual whining.

"But, Tambry!" Wendy insisted. "We could really use your help – "

"Nope! Not dealing with the "crazy" today! It's all yours!"

*SLAM!*

There wasn't a single person left speechless by the incident.

"Well," Zeke said. "That was something else…"

Wendy rubbed the back of her head, "You're telling me…"

Dipper shifted his shoulders, "Hey, you didn't say how you wanted it…"

"True…"

Zeke face palmed at the ridiculousness of it all, "Oh, enough of this garbage!" He ordered his personal army, "Attack! ATTACK!"

Wendy frowned as Danny rushed up towards her. "You're kidding, right?"

Her littlest ex stopped and grabbed at his head, "It hurts! I don't wanna…"

Despite what had happened, Wendy's heart went out toward him. She knew that it wasn't his fault for how things played out. She lowered herself downwards as Danny looked back up.

"BOO!"

Startled, he twirled around and blindly ran right into a steel column. Danny dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Wendy knelt over him, making sure he hadn't seriously hurt himself. _"For what it's worth, buddy, I'm sorry…"_

"Why you – "

She peered over her shoulder to see that Russ had Dipper on the ground. From what she could tell, her co-worker had injured the varsity star's knee, serving as a perfect distraction. Wendy sprinted towards him and drew her fist back…

*BAM!*

Wendy's uppercut knocked Russ on his backside. As sitting stunned for a moment, he fell backwards and passed out. With a job well done, she shook her head at Dipper. "That's the ticket, kiddo!" Wendy playfully punched the air in front of her, "You set 'em up, and I'll knock 'em down!"

They laughed in victory, as a deafening *POP* filled the air. Something soft and yet strong enveloped Wendy's calves. It retracted, binding them together.

"Hey! What gives?!" Wendy glanced down to see that she was caught in a thick net.

A cord attached to the webbing withdrew its slack, tackling Wendy to the ground. Her chin thwacked the hard surface, making her yelp in pain. As the teenager examined her wound, she was pulled further over the smooth surface.

"WENDY!"

She saw Dipper giving chase after her. Yet, he wasn't fast enough to keep up, becoming further away with every passing second. A familiar sneer called out, "Hmm…looks like I caught me a "hundred-and-fifteen-pounder…"

Wendy turned back to see Stoney holding a type of steel launcher. He rotated an old-fashion crank to bring her closer towards him.

"Please, Stoney!" She dug her nails into the tile to slow her progress, "That's just cruel! I'm no more than "one" on the head! Tops!"

The wannabe outdoorsman spun the handle harder, tugging Wendy's legs into the air. The redhead cringed as her joints were stretched out beyond their limits. Her placing slid further down the line…

"Gotcha!"

Wendy looked forward to see Dipper's tightened face. He had seized both of her hands before she flew into the air. "I…gotcha…"

"Great save…"

Dipper readjusted his footing, but Wendy could easily that he couldn't stand up to Stoney's brute strength. Together, they were towed past the tables that Zeke had set up earlier in the day. Dipper turned away as he spotted something in the distance. He placed Wendy's hands higher, "Switch with me real fast! Grab my jacket!"

Wendy did as asked, gradually moving hand to hand into his parka. Dipper accidentally slipped forward forcing him to alter his stance. He reached into the nearest table, making Wendy question his actions, _"What is he doing?"_ She saw him try again and again, searching for something just outside of her point of view.

"YES!"

Dipper came back around with her treasured hatchet in hand. _"What? Where did he get that?"_ He held the weapon before her right arm, allowing her to reclaim it. It was then that Wendy understood his intention. _"I getcha, Dip. Just give me a sec…"_

She gripped Dipper harder with her left hand as the netting binding her knees became tighter.

"All right," Wendy began to count down, "Let go in 3…2…1…"

Dipper released Wendy and watched her crack back towards her bindings. She zoomed through the sky like a vengeful phoenix, aiming her axe at the menace attempting to ensnare her

"Holy shit!" Stoney raised his head and dropped his net-gun in fear. He stepped back as Wendy landed on a tangled knee. She bit her lip to fight off the brief sting. Just as Stoney went to reclaim his tool, Wendy beat him to the punch. She snatched the launcher off the ground and forced it into his gut. He had nearly keeled over as Wendy hopped up and cracked him on the head.

*BAM!*

Stoney sunk to the earth as Wendy disposed of the cracked artillery. .

"Sucker…"

Wendy pulled at the tangled mess holding her legs as Dipper finally caught up to her. He bent down to help as they both saw a pair of mocha-stained jeans step towards them.

"You!" Dipper exclaimed. "There's no way!"

Wendy lowered her brow, "Mark…Epston?" Strangely enough, he was the one ex-boyfriend she hadn't seen throughout this entire affair

The over-the-top prankster had finally arrived on the scene. His dark-blond hair was was clumped with lots of mixed dirt. His cheeks were flushed, as if he had run all the way to the lumbermill. His winter jacket and pants had been blotted with an infinite number of mud splashes. Coffee-colored goo was caked from his thighs all the way down to his dripping stocking feet.

"But how do you escape?!" Dipper demanded. "You're a chronic liar! You should have been stuck there for hours!"

All of these context clues made Wendy curious. "Dude, what did you do to him?"

"I…might have sic'ed Honesty Muck on him…"

Wendy trussed up his curly hair with pride, "Nice!"

"What?!" Mark cut short. "Do you two think you're funny? It took me nearly an hour to get that gunk down enough for me to slip off my shoes and make a run for it!"

"Slipped your…

"Shoes off…?"

Wendy and Dipper were taken aback by his answer, each recalling how the merciless slime held their feet captive in a deadly, cement-like grip. They responded in chorus, _"Why didn't we think of that?!"_

"Yeah, well. You guys forgot about one vital thing…" Mark took an oversized pistol from his jacket and pointed it at the pair. "I'm the one who tells the jokes and play the pranks! You got that?!"

With his index finger itching over the trigger, Wendy fought harder to untangle her ankles from the net. "Wait! Don't – " Trapped, she hid her face with her flannelled arms as Dipper hurled himself over her as a human shield.

"No! Wendy!"

"Dipper, don't -"

A massive red boxing glove exploded from the gun and struck Dipper across the cheek. The force of the blow send him sprawling as the mitt was pulled back into the nozzle by a branching metallic support. Wendy had enough. Seeing Dipper take a blow for her was the final straw. She pulled the mesh from her leg and threw it in Mark's face.

"Hey!" The trickster pulled at the webbing on his head, "This isn't funny!"

"About time you realize that, Mark!" Wendy chastised. "That you know how I felt when you kept doing the same damned "whoopee-cushion" joke over and over again!"

He tried again to remove the net from his face so he could speak clearly, "Is that why you wouldn't return my calls?"

Wendy leapt up and punched him in the nose. He was knocked to the floor and left inside of the knotted swarm.

"Now you get the joke, huh?"

"Ooh!" Wendy could hear her sarcastic pal comment, "Bet that hurt…"

She let out a deep breath. Dipper was in fair enough condition to make wisecracks. , She hurried to him and helped him up. "'You okay?"

Dipper patted his bruised cheek , "I've been better…"

She teasingly smacked his shoulder with affection, "Dip, you totally took a punch in the face for me…" However, Wendy couldn't resist poking fun at her overly-serious cohort, even in this most dire of times. She held a hand over her chest and held her other arm towards the sky, "…though I could have lived without the ultra-dramatic "NOOOOOO!""

Dipper pouted, "It wasn't like that – it was a regular "No!""

"I'm sure it was…"

A throat cleared, forcing the twosome to turn around. Another three ex-boyfriends lied in wait for them.

"Almost forgot about them…"

"At least we're getting there, right? It's 3-2 now!"

"Not for long!" Eli tossed an olive-green item into the ground. It sprung to life and twitched towards them, making Wendy's flesh crawl. The nerd called out to the arcade champion, "Hey, Psyche! Lemme get a bit of that gaming magic, eh?"

"Coming right up!" Psyche stroked his palms together and presented dual-screen handheld system from his pants. He opened it and slid a knob to the highest level. "3D effect activated!"

An eerie yellow glow emitted from the machine, covering the organic being in full.

*R-OA-R!*

The ground under the teenagers began to rumble. The formless spud began to take shape. It raised towards the sky lights; its stalk became a bright purple. Thick roots branched from the foundation, becoming dozens of tendrils. The center tore in half, sporting two rows of pointy teeth.

"That thing – it looks just like…"

"I know…" Dipper concurred. "It's almost like a _Wendy-III…_ "

"Dipper!" Wendy reprimanded _. "We've had this conversation! No more naming monsters after me! No monstrous Wendy plants! No Wendy-duck possessed dolls! No nothing!"_

"Sorry, but it does look like – WHOA!"

The carnivorous plant slipped a slimy tendril around his Dipper's mid-section and picked him off the floor. He cried out and struggled against the throbbing limb as he was dangled over its partially opened mouth.

"Dipper! I'm coming!" Wendy ran towards the beast as it sent its numerous tentacles after her. She slid under a raised vine without coming to a stop. Two more shot out horizontally, forcing the nimble athlete to hurl over them. With Dipper just above her, Wendy leapt towards him with hatchet at the ready.

I'm – AAH!"

While in mid-air, Wendy could feel something coil around her right foot, bringing her to a complete stop. Before gravity could take effect, she was heaved upside down, as the living rope moved past her ankles and encompassed her thighs.

Wendy raised her axe over her head and went to swing upwards the tendril holding her prisoner. As the blade came crashing down, an unseen vine slapped the axe out of her hand. It bounced off the ground with a large *THUNK!*

Dipper turned his head, somewhat staggered that Wendy had been captured as well, "What was that?"

"Um…" Wendy admitted with embarrassment, "That was the sound of my hatchet dropping on the floor…"

"That's not good…"

The friends felt their stomachs sour from being tossed about every which way.

*BURP!* "I think I'm going to be sick…"

"This blows!" Wendy pounded on the creeper with her bare hands, "All this thing wants to do is mess with our heads and play games!"

 _"Play games?!"_ Dipper was inspired by her words. "Wendy, you're brilliant!"

"Why now?"

"Because _it is like a game_! It's like _"Super Linguini Bros!"_ "

"It is…?"

"Yes! We'll beat it the same way you would in the game! Do you still have your lighter with you?"

Wendy dug her hands past the tentacle and located the Zippo hidden away in her pant pocket. "Got it!"

"Okay, give me a sec…" Dipper shuffled one of the many zippers of his backpack in search of a particular item. After a couple tries, Wendy watched him present silver can of hair spray.

"Oh!" Wendy shouted. "I get it now!"

"Wendy…" Dipper was trying to line up his sights. "Get ready…"

She tugged her arms up through the binding. Wendy made sure to hold the lighter far away from her swirling hair before hitting the trigger with her thumb. A tiny, but solid flame came forth.

"All right…" Dipper held his position until he could find the perfect shot. "NOW!"

The can spewed a broad spray that turned into a flamethrower upon meeting Wendy's lighter. It soared through the open air and spread across the Venus fly trap's center like wildfire.

*AAIIIEEEEEE!*

The inferno traveled across the plant as it tried to put itself out with its whip-like arms. It released Wendy and Dipper from its clutches, needing all hands on desk to save itself. However, the damage was already done. There wasn't an area of the piranha plant that hadn't charred by the fire.

The two evil exes were dumbstruck by the awesome display. They stepped before their destroyed ace-in-the-hole, as an odd sound filled the atmosphere

*CR-E-E-E-K!*

The burnt-up corpse began to tip over in their direction. Psyche and Eli sped away, but were unable to outrun it in the nick of time…

*SPLOOSH!*

A whirlwind of cinders swirled around the room. The black fog faded away as the remainders of the monster morphed into melting pixelated squares. When the area became clear, Dipper and Wendy were standing together as her final ex- boyfriend stood before their last escape.

"Well…" Zeke used his arm to brush away some remaining ash. "That was a waste, wasn't it?"

Dipper got a little ahead of himself. "C'mon, Wendy! Let's finish this once and for all!"

As soon as Wendy made eye contact with Zeke, he flashed a devious grin. Her feet were instantly frozen to the ground. All of the threats and promises of vengeance had left her consciousness, only to be replaced by the past pleas of her twelve-year-old self: _"Zeke…you can't…"_

To Wendy's horror, her young protector sped on to engage the man of her screams. "No! Dipper! Wait!" She reached out for him, only to miss the back of his jacket by a few centimeters.

"Huh?" Dipper turned his head upon hearing her voice.

*BAMF!*

Zeke delivered a hard blow into Dipper's gut, stopping him dead in his tracks. He dropped to his knees and gasped to catch his breath. Seeing his foe at his worst, the corrupted lumberman dragged him up by the throat

"You little son-of-a-bitch!" He shouted in Dipper's face. "You ruined everything! Believe me when I say, punk, that your suffering is just beginning!"

"Dipper!" Wendy looked around the floor as something rubbed up against her boot. The edge of her hatchet reflected the light hanging overhead. She bent down, reclaimed her weapon, and made haste to save Dipper.

Seeing this, Zeke set Dipper back on the ground and spun him around, twisting his right arm back to hold him in place.

"GAH!"

"Stay where you are…!" Zeke ordered Wendy. Her boots skid to a stop as Dipper tried to break free of Zeke's grip.

"…or less, I rip this baby bird's wing like a wishbone!"

Wendy's worst fears were becoming reality. She knew that Zeke wouldn't hesitate to tear Dipper into two. Regardless, she stepped up and forced a brave face. "Let him go, Zeke! It's over!"

"Hmm… Oh, I don't think so." He made Dipper scream again by bending his arm back further.

"AAH!"

"Dipper! Don't – Don't hurt him!"

Zeke could easily see the worry in Wendy's eyes, "It's incredible! It's truly incredible! The kid – _this kid was telling the truth. You have changed, haven't you? You finally learned to care about someone besides yourself!"_

"Zeke, I swear to you – "

"AAH!"

"Huh? It looks like Dipper doesn't like you making empty promises that you can't keep. You have quite the catch here, Gwendy; such a loyal, lovesick puppy this runt is…"

"Okay…" Wendy lowered her blade to things to ease things. "Okay…just take it easy… What is it that you want?"

"What I want?" Zeke went silent as he thought, "I guess…I want to see how far you're willing to go for him?"

"I don't understand…"

"Well," Zeke explained. "I just witnessed you two – a wonderfully dynamic duo – plow through all of these guys like they were nothing. It's obvious that you'd die for one another, but the real question is _would you live for him?"_

"What – I don't get it – "

Zeke used his neck to highlight the other side of the room, "For starters: your blade; toss it!"

Wendy lowered her sights to her gifted axe. _"How many times am I going to have to lose this poor thing today?"_

"NOW!"

Thinking only of her "Dipper in distress," Wendy took the hatchet and threw it against the furthest wall. The tool banged against the dusty equipment before vanishing from sight completely.

"Good girl! Good girl…" Zeke motioned towards Wendy's feet as he gripped Dipper harder, "Now, go towards dumbass over there…"

Wendy followed his directions, finding a knocked-out Stoney close by. She made her way towards the defeated evil ex…

"SLOWLY!"

Not wishing to push Zeke, Wendy held her hands up to ease the growing tension. She bent down next to Stoney. "Alright. Now what?"

"Take those things off his belt…"

Unaware of her exact objective, Wendy slowly used her fingertips to address the countless pieces of hunting gear. As she grazed by a pair of fetters, Zeke barked at her, "Those! Pull 'em off!"

Finding them tangled, the careful gift shop clerk tugged at the shackles until they ripped away from Stoney's belt. She stretched them out before her so that Zeke could see. "Done. What's next?"

"Put them on…"

"WHAT?!"

Zeke grit his teeth and raised Dipper's arm, making him whine even louder. "PUT…THEM…ON!"

Wendy stared at the leg irons in her hands before looking back at Dipper's watering eyes. She knew there wasn't a way out of this mess. Left without any other choice, the courageous heroine prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice for her boy by opening the cuff and fitting it above her foot…

"Wendy! No!" The hostage protested as she went to lock the manacle. "You can't –!"

"I know, I know…" Zeke attempted to play off his worry. "If we really wanted it to be symbolic, I would have chosen a ball and chain, but hey, you have to manage with what you're given…"

"No! I mean, you can't do that to her! She won't be able to – "

Zeke set Dipper's arm higher, "That's the point, nerdlinger! _She won't be able to run! She won't be able to jump! She won't be able to fight!_ Wendy will be completely helpless…and it's all thanks to you!"

"No!"

"Yes!" Wendy could hear Zeke torment further by whispering in his ear in a raspy voice. "If it wasn't for you, she wouldn't be here right now. It's ironic if you think about it." His voice became deeper, "Take a long, good look at her, Dipper. _Try your best to remember this moment; for this is the last time you'll see your precious Wendy before we disappear in the night together…forever!"_

Dipper looked up to see Wendy offering a valiant, yet downtrodden stare, as if to tell him that everything would be alright.

 _"It'll be okay, Dip. I – I know it looks bad now, but – Zeke can't keep his guard up forever – least I don't think he can. And the second he drops it, I'll make my escape and be back before you know it…just you wait…you'll see…"_

However, Dipper had other plans. A split second before Wendy closed the cuff over her ankle, she could make out a low-key snarl coming from the other side of the room. In a fit of pure rage, Dipper snapped his head backward, walloping Zeke between the eyes and nose. With a yowl, Zeke released his arm-lock to protect his inflamed nostrils. "AGH!"

Shocked, Wendy saw her little defender threw himself at Zeke, mercilessly pounding and tearing at his injured tormentor. _"No! I won't let you take her away! Do you hear me?!"_

Zeke howled and caught Dipper, bringing his tirade to an end. "You – Stop it, you dick!" He kept the thrashing adolescent at a distance. "I'm getting sick and tired of you inferring with me…"

The lumberman pitched his prisoner towards the ruined tables, making him flap his arms and legs uncontrollably. "Y-Y-YEEEOOOWWW!"

"Dipper!" Wendy dropped her restraints and took off in a blur. Using the table as a jumping point, the lumberjack princess took to the air and wrapped herself around her still-flailing companion. Together, they hit the back end of the table, making it stand straight out, and fell onto the tiled flooring.

"Wendy – _you saved me…"_

Dipper recovered first, as Wendy was left dizzy by their flight, "Of –" She grabbed her temple to stop the world from spinning, "Of course I did…" Her outlook turned stern as she held Dipper firm. "Dude, what were you thinking? You could have gotten yourself messed up!"

"But, Wendy! I couldn't let – "

"I know, Dip – _and thanks_ …"

As Dipper sighed in relief, they could make out Zeke calling out, "Wendy….Dipper…where are you? Come out, come out, wherever you are…" Dipper crawled to the side of the upturned table to see that their last foe was on the other side of the room searching for them.

Wendy cradled herself, bringing her knees up against her chest. _"Why is this happening? Man! I just hear him, and my nerves get wrecked! Maybe it's a sign…"_

Dipper scooted back behind the safety of the table, "So, what's this guy's deal? Does he have a secret weakness or something like that?"

Wendy lowered her head and mumbled into her kneecaps.

 _"There is no trick…"_

"Wendy?"

She decided to face the facts, "There's no way to stop him, Dipper…"

"What are you saying?" Dipper crept closer to her, "We're been through way worse than this! And you're Wendy Corduroy! I've seen you take on every animal and monster from here to the Pacific Northwest without breaking a sweat!"

"But this is different, Dipper!" Wendy finally let all of the stress come pouring out. "Zeke taught me every fighting tact and dirty trick that I know!" She rested her chin on her legs, "I can't beat him on my own…"

From within her self-imposed darkness, Wendy could feel something calming being set on her shoulder "But Wendy, _you're not alone…not anymore_ …"

Wendy looked up to see that Dipper kneeling next to her with a hopeful shine in his brown eyes.

 _"Even after everything that's happened,"_ she found herself motivated. _"He still has faith we'll make it through this; he still has faith in me…"_

"So, any last-minute plans coming to mind?"

Dipper shook his head, "I was hoping that you would be able to give me a hint or two…"

"Beats me…"

Wendy noticed that Dipper flinch upon resting his hands on the ground. He picked up a small, pointy white piece from the floor. "What are these things?"

"Those?" Wendy took a harder look. She spotted dozens of them spread about, stemming from a spilt cardboard box. "They're the earplugs that Zeke wore."

"For what?" Dipper wondered

She pointed at the giant subwoofers set against the wall, "To block off the music. He used those machines to send hypnotic suggestions to the guys..."

"…without affecting himself…"

Wendy and Dipper shared a tooth-filled beam as they met eye-to-eye.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I sure hope so…" Dipper looked back at the speakers. "Do you think you can keep tall, dark, and gruesome busy for a few minutes?"

Filled with encouragement from her favorite dork, Wendy raised her arms over her head and cracked her limbs to ready herself for the upcoming battle.

"We'll find out…"

Following Dipper's example, Wendy took a pair of plugs from the pile and placed them in her ears. Dipper took a deep breath and sprinted towards his goal.

"Just where do you think you're going? You're not getting off that easy!"

Wendy peeked out from her shelter. Zeke had re-emerged from the shadows, seizing Dipper by the arm. The much-tinier boy pulled and tugged towards freedom.

"Let go! Let me go!"

Wendy gathered her courage. There wasn't any time to waste. She had to act now, or else Dipper was going to be torn apart. With her hands shaking, the ginger rushed out from her refuge and entered the fray.

Zeke went to backhand Dipper, "Oh, I'll let you go all right…"

Seeing the violent scene shook Wendy to her core. _"It's just like it was back in the woods…"_ She brushed away her fears. There wasn't anyone that was going to save them this time. But she wasn't a frightened twelve-year-old anymore. It was up to her to set things right! Wendy lounged forward with her fist…

*BLAM!*

Zeke was knocked onto his back, dropping Dipper, and slid across the slick floor He raised his head to see his ex-girlfriend standing over him, shaking with unfiltered ferocity.

 _"I've…waited years to do that…"_

Zeke mocked her, "You really wanna do this?" He wiped the blood away from his fat lip.

Unbeknownst to him, Dipper made it to the speakers and started to make his adjustments. Wendy knew it was too late to back out. It was "do or die" time.

She put up her dukes, "Yeah, I do! It's time we settle this once and for all!"

Without warning, Zeke threw a hard jab, socking her right in the eye. As Wendy held her face, he approached her, "Sorry, Gwendy, but I had to put you in your place – "

*BLAM!*

Wendy countered with a massive uppercut on Zeke's chin. His boots skid across the tiling as he regained balance.

"That's funny, Zeke!" She boasted, resuming her fighting stance. "I was about to say the same thing to you!"

The lumberjack descendants held nothing back as they went to war. Zeke tried to duck and rush towards Wendy, only to have her deliver a crushing roundhouse kick that send him spinning in place. She went for a second attack, but her spurned beau was prepared. She grabbed her ankle in mid-kick and punched her square in the gut.

With Wendy hunched over in pain, Zeke crossed his fingers and held his hands over his head. As he readied his bash-attack, the redhead made a quick recovery. She stuck her lengthy leg outwards and swiped against Zeke's heels, sending him crashing towards the earth.

Refusing to give him a second of relief, Wendy pounced on top of the fallen evil ex and continued her offensive. With one hand gripping his blue-flannelled shirt, the madden fighter pounded the face that haunted her dreams without mercy or remorse, uttering a curse with every successful blow. The voice of her father playing in her head only added to Wendy's fury.

 _"When a man does you wrong, you can't be afraid to strike them back!"_

It was that same blind ire that prevented her from seeing Zeke cupping a handful of sawdust off the floor and hurling it into her eyes. Wendy screeched and wiped at her face in an attempt to regain her vision. The opening allowed Zeke to gain the upper hand.

*POW!"

Wendy was thrown into her back as Zeke struck her in the mouth with a closed fist. Blinking wildly, she went to get back up, as the much-larger outdoorsman threw himself down on her, knees first. Her wrists were trapped beneath his legs.

With a crazed look in his red eyes, Zeke grabbed Wendy's throat and started to clamp down, cutting off her air supply.

*ACK! ACK!*

She pumped her legs, jamming her knees into his backside with no apparent effect.

"You don't want to be my "lumberjack queen?" Zeke muttered. "Fine! In a few seconds, it won't matter. You'll be known as "brown bread!""

*ACK! ACK!*

Wendy was finally able to free her hands. She punched and scratched at the murderous adversary, noticing that her world was growing darker by the second. All traces of oxygen had fled her lungs.

Zeke showed no regrets with his actions. "Tell your mother I said hello…"

"Get off her!"

Dipper had jumped onto Zeke's back and pulled at the roots of his hair. The brute jumped to his feet and spun around to try to loosen the boy's grip

"Oww! You rat bastard! You're gonna pay for that!"

As she struggled to breathe, Wendy watched as Dipper scrapped Zeke's eyes with his fingernails, moving his hands into his ears. _"I won't let you hurt Wendy! Not ever again!"_

As the polar opposites whirled around in combat, Wendy could see two tiny white objects held in Dipper's hands. _"He did it! Zeke isn't protected from the music anymore!"_ With the last ounce of strength within her, Wendy shakily stood back up and limped to the unguarded stereo system.

She put her weight against the sturdy speakers and looked back. Zeke had managed to get Dipper off his back and into the ground. Just as he was about to strike, he couldn't help but ask his quarry, "Have any last words, pipsqueak?"

"How…about _…"fooled ya…"_?" Dipper opened his palms and revealed that he had taken Zeke's earplugs.

"What?!" Zeke poked his eardrums, finding them bare. He noticed that Wendy wasn't where he left her on the factory's flooring. He swiftly searched the background, finding her leaning against the source of his power.

"You stay away from that!"

Zeke gave chase after her until Dipper tripped him and jumped onto his flipside. The child shouted, "NOW, WENDY! NOW!"

Wendy slammed her hand into the "ON" button. A second later, the same horrible noise that enslaved her was blaring at full-blast through the humongous speakers. The sides of her head throbbed even with the protection of the earplugs. With her eyes shut and her ears covered, Wendy counted off to "Sixty-Mississippi" before turning the volume down.

The room was filled with an uneasy peace. At the middle of the room, Dipper was examining a still-kneeling Zeke, who appeared to be frozen in time. Even stranger, every other ex-boyfriend were back up from their slumber and fixed in the same condition.

"We did it!" Dipper celebrated. "We actually did it!"

"Freaky…" Wendy hobbled to her friend's side. "They're like living statues…" She inspected Zeke's icy state from top to bottom. "Is this how I looked when Robbie – you know?"

Dipper shook his head.

"Whoa…" She recalled how Dipper would flip his lid over this topic – something that Wendy used to chalk up to his hidden jealously towards his former gothic rival. Simply seeing all these boys like this made Wendy regret not trying to talk things out over his concern– a mistake that she pledged that to make as easily in the future.

"What should we do now?"

"I'm not sure…" Wendy remembered the torture she had been put through, "Zeke would play the music and afterwards, give them orders on what to do next."

"Maybe that's what _you_ should do." Dipper advised. "After everything you've been through, _your voice should be the first that they hear…_ "

"Hmm…" Wendy rubbed her chin as she imagined the prospects. _"After everything that they did, I should tell them to fill their pockets with rocks, and walk into the ocean, "Pied Piper" style!"_

But as she was about to issue her ultimate revenge, the auburn-haired beauty noticed that Dipper was gazing up at her with a sense of pure admiration. She let out a disappointed sigh. _"Even if they really do deserve it, I can't do it in front of him…"_

"All of you guys, listen up!"

The seven ex-boyfriends stood erect as Wendy chose to be a responsible role model.

"This is how this is going to work _– as of this moment, you are to let go and forget about any or all misgivings in our respective relationships. It doesn't matter who hurt whom, or who broke up with whomever; the point is that you understand that it's over, and nothing on Earth will ever change that!"_

She pointed to the lumbermill's exit _, "Now, get outta here and finally move on with your lives! Remember the good times, and try to find that same sense of happiness out there in the world. And no offense, fellas, but if I ever see any of you again, it'll definitely be far too soon! So long, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!"_

The young men followed Wendy's every word. They cleaned themselves off and went off in single file towards a new beginning in complete silence. Only Zeke took pause, blankly glaring at the partners in crime before obeying his ex's command to disappear from their lives forever.

As the lumbermill's door shut for the last time, Wendy and Dipper stood on edge, wondering if their plan had worked. Several minutes passed, and no one returned to settle the score

"Is…Is it finally over?"

"I…" Wendy didn't know for sure, "I…think so…."

"Good…"

Exhausted, they fell against one another and slid down until they hit the harsh tile flooring together.

"Hey, Dipper?"

"Yeah, Wendy?"

She found his tiny hand and seized it in hers. "I'm not sure if anyone had the chance to tell you this, but…"

"But what, Wendy?"

 _"Welcome back to Gravity Falls, Dip!"_

Dipper chuckled, and rested his weary head against her shoulders. He squeezed her hand back.

"Thanks, Wendy. You don't know how good it is to hear it from you…"

"Same here, buddy…"


	6. Chapter 6

_Final status of the contest (as of posting of final chapter):_

 _Team Dipper - 16 Reviews/1,798 Views/13 Favs/17 Alerts_

 _Team Wendy - 18 Reviews/2,259 Views/14 Favs/21 Alerts_

 _At the end of the day, it looks like Wendy sweeps up the victory. Even though the game is over, I hope you guys and gals continue to let me know how you liked this experiment, and how I can improve in the future (or better yet, how you liked the "final twist" below)_

 _Thanks again for all your support, and enjoy the finale! Until next time!_

* * *

"Glad to hear you kids are having fun. Keep warm, try not to stay up too late, and I'll hear from you in the morning…"

Wendy and Dipper had gathered over the cell phone set to speaker.

"Will do! Talk to you tomorrow, Mom."

"Thanks again for everything, Mrs. Pines. We'll catch you later on. And tell Mabel we'll smuggle her in a suitcase next time."

"I'll tell her. Goodnight, kids…"

*CLICK!*

"PHEW!" The duo let out a relaxed heave. On the way back to the Mystery Shack, Dipper had explained what had happened while Wendy was missing in action. Thinking fast on her feet, the ginger was able to keep the fib going in order to avoid any possible new problems from California.

Wendy placed her arms behind her. It felt off to take the ability to control her own body for granted again. "Well, that's over with…" She looked at Dipper as he slowly drank his hot chocolate. "Do you think she bought it?"

He agreed, "Oh, yeah. If not, she'd be halfway to Oregon by now…"

"True…" She sipped from her mug. "No offense, Dip, but I'd rather take on a zillion evil exes than to get on your mom's bad side again."

Wendy saw Dipper holding his mug towards her. She followed suit and toasted it, making sure not to knock it out of his hand..

"Tell me about it…"

Their giggles echoed across the empty woods. The horrid weather that impeded their separate quests had disappeared, leaving behind a brilliant star-filled sky. A light-blue ray shined down from the moon, providing the teens some element of warmth in the harsh winter frost.

"I almost forgot…" Wendy dug her hand into her coat and retrieved a familiar brown trapper hat. "Here you go…"

She beamed as Dipper was shocked by the re-gifting. He took the headwear from her palms and began to examine it thoroughly. The redhead took no offense to such odd behavior, chalking it up to his inquiring nature. Wendy raised an eye brow as she could have sworn to see Dipper sniffing the hat.

 _"Poor little dork. He probably thinks I keep a stockpile of extra hats or something…"_

"This is…" He appeared to be lost in his thoughts. "But how did you – "

"It wasn't that hard, Dipper." Wendy bragged. "I made a pit-stop to the pool before running home for my junk. I slipped into the Pool and fished it out of the ice."

"But it's pitch dark out! How did you find it?"

"Kiddo," Wendy explained. "The best time to go ice-fishing is in the dead of night. Believe me, it was child's play. And after a few spins in the dryer, it's good as new…"

With all doubts settled, Dipper returned the cap to its rightful place onto his head. He turned towards Wendy with a toothy, appreciative grin. She tilted his blue-pine-tree-trucker hat, "There. Now, everything's back to normal…"

"Finally…"

After Dipper and Wendy had their way back from the lumbermill, they met up with Soos and Melody, who offered to let them set up shop at the Mystery Shack. By hanging out in one of the extra, more-spacious rooms, they would be able to get some privacy from Wendy's meddling brothers, avoid igniting Manly Dan's wrath, and be within reasonable range of adult help in case of any other insane mishaps.

"Mmm," Dipper took another gulp of hot cocoa, "It was nice of Soos and Melody to give us the old break room to hang out in…"

"Yeah, after everything that happened today, I'd really doubt that they'd send you back home like that…"

A guilty feeling had sat in the pit of Wendy's stomach since they had come back home. She shifted the drink in her hand, feeling its contents swish around as she struggled to put her feelings into words. "Dipper, I know it doesn't mean much now, but I just wanted to say – _I'm sorry_ …"

Dipper nearly spit out his drink, forcing Wendy to bit her lip to stop from laughing. He glanced at his crush in bafflement. "W-What?"

To make things easier on herself, Wendy broke eye-contact. She gazed into the treetops of the Gravity Falls Woods to gain perspective. "I mean, it's my fault that you got roped into this mess. It's all kinds of messed up, and you're the last person that deserved that, and for that, I'm really sorry…"

Her admirer reached out towards her, "Wendy, you don't have – you had no way to know what was going to happen – "

Wendy's body became tense. She stretched her leg over the rooftop to stretch. "Mebbe that's part of the problem…" The girl groaned and placed her beverage by her side, "Dipper, you know - you know I like spending time with you, and Mabel, too, but I don't really talk to you guys as much as I should – what I mean is that it's nothing personal – it's just – _it gets hard_ , you know…"

"Well," Dipper replied. "Maybe we should do something about that…"

"Like what?"

He shifted his shoulders, "What about letting me set up that video-chat setup that I've been bugging you about?"

Wendy remembered that he had hinted at this before, "That sounds great, buddy, but I don't have that kind of scratch just lying around…"

Dipper started to search his pant pockets, "Maybe there's something we can do to fix that…" A moment later, his hand was filled with a stack of twenty dollar bills.

"WHOA!" She moved closer for a better look, "Where did you get your hands on that load of moolah?"

"From our "old buddy," Zeke." Dipper slyly answered, shuffling the money in his hands, _"_ Like he said, _"This should cover the cost to get you back home, plus a little bit extra for your troubles…"_ "

"Nice!" Wendy paused, finding that she couldn't recall that particular instance, "But, when did that happen?"

"Oop!" Dipper flinched, as if he made a mistake. "That happened…when you were…um… _asleep_ …"

"Oh…"

"But we can do it now! Heck, it wouldn't take me more than a few hours to get you up and running!"

"You're serious? You'd really want to waste all that money like that?"

"It's not a waste, Wendy." As Dipper stammered on, Wendy noticed that his cheeks were growing flushed with every passing second. "I don't know – maybe it'll help with things – maybe… _I wouldn't miss you as much then…_ "

Dipper closed his eyes, almost like he was embarrassed of his outburst.

 _"He's still my little dork…"_

Wendy placed a much-needed hand on his shoulder, awakening him from his self-imposed state.

"You got it, kid. We'll head to the mall tomorrow, and get you whatever we need to do this."

"Really?"

"Yep," Wendy turned back around, "Besides, I have you all to myself for the entire weekend. We have to jam as much stuff in as possible." She used her fingers to list activities, "We're talking junk-food buffets, all-night movie marathons, and not to mention, all the things we can do in the snow – "

"Egh!" Dipper cut her off with a tremble. "No offense, Wendy, but after today, the very last place I want to be is in the snow."

She gave him a playful shove, "Dude, you're in the middle of Oregon in dead winter. I can't be held responsible for you getting pelted with snowballs or somehow being dunked headfirst into a snow pile."

"Ohh!" Dipper complained. "At least, can you promise that there won't be any ice balls in that mix?"

"I can do that – plus maybe toss in some "lightweight" stuff, like sledding and stuff – as long as we're not talking snow-angels here…"

"Agreed."

"Good to hear…"

The duo set their sights towards the heavens in wait of the legendary cosmic occurrence. The peaceful ambiance soothed their weary souls, worn out after the day's countless battles.

"So…"

"So…"

Wendy knew it was coming. Sooner or later, he was going to ask about something – _or everything_. And after they suffered through today, it was only right _. He deserved to know – no matter how awful the truth really was_. She cradled her long legs against her body and gave her friend permission.

"So," She murmured. "You must have like, a ton of questions for me, right?"

"About what?"

She moved her hand in a roundabout fashion, "About everything that happened in general…"

"No…"

"Huh?!" Wendy cried out in astonishment. This was the very last thing she expected Dipper to say. If anything, she had been prepared to be blasted by an infinite amount of questions about her love life and the maniacs that followed along with it.

Dipper elaborated, _"What happened with those guys – it should stay between you and them in the past. It's none of my business. And even if there is some truth to what they said, it doesn't matter to me. I believe that the Wendy they knew is a totally different person that the one I know now, and that's what's really important..."_

"Wow…" Part of her was still in disbelief, and yet, relieved that she got off easy on the interrogation. "That's really deep, Dip…"

"Well, I got some great advice…"

Proud of her boy, Wendy moved closer and wrapped her arm around his back.

"I'd say that's some good stuff, buddy…"

Wendy saw something flash from the corner of her eye. She patted Dipper's chest and pointed upwards, "Look, Dipper, look!"

A succession of vibrant stripes flew through the night. Each created a trail made of a different color. They went on over the horizon, never breaking their parallel formation for a second. The meteors soared over the forest and disappeared from view. The only remainder of their existence was their neon tracks hung in the atmosphere.

"Incredible…" Dipper went into full geek-out mode. "It's like a night-time rainbow, but it glows in the dark like aurora borealis." He pulled his cell phone from his jacket and aimed its sights at the wonder.

"It's cool," Wendy recognized. "But after seeing it a few times…"

The legend that followed the celebration came to Wendy's mind. She jabbed her buddy with the tip of her elbow. "I guess that settles it, eh? We're bonded. _It looks like you're stuck with me forever…"_

She could make out Dipper mumbling under his breath, _"_ You make that sound like a bad thing…"

Wendy lowered her brow. _"I guess some things never change, do they?"_

"Didn't we talk about this, Dip – I know I can hear you when you do that, right?"

"Oop…"

Figuring that she had let him languish enough, the high-schooler yanked her pal closer, "Seriously though, it's the farthest thing from bad. I probably should have said this a lot sooner, _but…I missed you, too…"_

However, Wendy couldn't help but get one more jolt in. "But, I know that's nothing compared your one true, unconditional love…"

"My – what?"

"You know," Wendy forced herself to keep her face straight, "Your huge crush on "euuuuuuuuu-calyptus " trees. I know how much you absolutely adore them! HAHAHA!"

Dipper set his face into his hand with shame. "Oh, Wendy…"

"Kidding! I'm just kidding!" She poked his arm, "Dipper, I just went through a gauntlet of ex-boyfriends when I thought you were in trouble. Do you honestly think I'd let a lousy tree stand in the way of "my boy?""

"I know, I know…"

"That's lumberjack skills for the win!" Wendy rose up and playfully showed off the muscles in her arms. After her posing, she nestled back against Dipper as they returned to watching the airborne sights above them. "Was it everything that you hoped for?"

Dipper shook his head back and forth, "Nah. It was alright…"

"Just alright?!" Wendy couldn't believe it. "But wasn't that the reason you came back? To be a part of the whole "Fallers' Day" getup?"

"Not really," Dipper told her without delay. "I mean, it's neat, and all, but that wasn't the main reason I wanted to come back to Gravity Falls."

The cashier didn't understand. "But why then?"

"Well, I – "

Wendy watched as Dipper stopped in his tracks. He took off his knapsack and set it on his lap. The teen unzipped the middle compartment and gradually tugged a army-green metal carter from its resting place. He moved slowly, carefully setting the carrier on top of Wendy's jeaned thighs. Before she could react to the mysterious box, Dipper unfastened the latches binding it together.

Dipper took a deep inhale and opened the package.

"I didn't come back for Fallers' Day _. I came back for you; to celebrate your day with you._

Wendy gasped at her surprise, "Oh, Dipper…"

Sixteen red and green cupcakes had been placed in secured chambers to guard against any possible damage. Each had been marked with miniature wax numeric candles.

Trying her best not to smear frosting over her hand, Wendy picked up the treat marked number one. While she was touched by the gesture, the thought of Dipper cooking made her second-guess her sudden reaction. However, an attractive aroma swiftly changed her mind. "It's…" Her mouth began to water. "It's red-velvet chocolate cake!"

"Try the green frosting…" Dipper suggested.

She bit into the cupcake, as a familiar flavor danced along her taste buds. "Hmm…minty!"

"Making them your colors was my idea," Dipper confessed, "But Mabel helped me make it a reality. I know it's not much, but I thought that – "

"Dip…"

Wendy turned her head as tears started to flow from her emerald eyes. She cursed, _"Dammit! I don't wanna let him see me cry for a second time today."_ At long last, Wendy had received what she really wanted. _For the first time in a very long time, someone had put her first before this blasted holiday; and ironically, it came from the last person she expected to see on this day._

Even with her blurred vision, Wendy could see Dipper staring up at her. She dabbed her eyes and cleaned the extra frosting from her lips with her tongue in an attempt to regain some loss dignity. "It's perfect – it really is. You don't – I've always hated this day because everyone always thinks of Fallers' Day instead of – " Wendy wiped away the remaining moisture on her freckled cheeks, "You must think it's really stupid, don't you?"

"No way! I totally get it…" Dipper sympathized, never breaking eye contact. _"But just remember, I'll never forget about you, Wendy…"_

Taking her partner in crime by surprise, Wendy pulled Dipper even closer. Seeing that he should share in the spoils, she removed a second cupcake from the container and handed one to him. They raised their sights towards the multi-colored display standing as a symbol of their bond.

*CHOMP!*

Wendy messily muffled through a filled mouth. "Happy Fallers' Day, Dipper…"

She watched that Dipper hesitated in testing his own creation. With an encouraging glance from Wendy, he took a careful bite, having his anxiety lessen upon finding it scrumptious. Now at peace, Dipper finally returned the favor and placed his noodle arm around Wendy's back, while offering her one last wish:

 _"Happy Sweet Sixteen, Wendy…"_

 _(January 5_ _th_ _2017 – March 26_ _th_ _2017)_


End file.
